Love is overratted

or i can say, love is overrated when u found it in the wrong person.

Many times friends advise its wrong, it cant be right in that person.

Time to end and quit

Santa claus

I dont believe in Santa claus...even as a kid

When ppl grow up, do they still believe in Santa Claus?

Movies kept on replaying the theme of Santa, preparing gifts with his elves at the north pole...in my perspective, a lie which adults choose to deceive themselves and even their kids to anticipate gifts.

This can be said to the act of believing the idea that there is a supreme being.

Emptiness

No dream, no purpose, no ambition. A lost of direction.

A standard routine of living life so I can get on with the next day to get my paycheck.

What is happiness?

I'm tired of living as i can't find purpose to proPel me to live my life.

Kk, is a strong guy. Advin is getting married. Wish him all e best.

2nd ops

Just when my surgical wounds is almost heal, i have to go for another ops to remove the screws in my leg. Need to endure the process of getting the stitches removed, waiting for the wound to heal, before i can start physio.

Going to take at least another month i guess. Tired and strained. Deprived my freedom. Almost sick and tired of my life.

Sitting down or lying on the bed too long makes me feel like a zombie. Going to work is a time killer, but having to endure not going for a normal lunch break dulls my senses...almost glued to the chain for almost 10 hours straight.

It really change my life.

1st week

Manage to get a regular cab driver to ferry me to work every morning. Expensive. Adds up to about 40plus with ERP charges. If i go work early, i can save up to bucks itself, due to the traffic conditions and erp. It pays to go to work early.

Colleagues are ok, generally nice. Just realize yesterday i got this role as they are moving functions out from Australia to Singapore. People will be fired and i got the role of replacing them. Its remind me of the book "Who move my cheese"

Its a large company but very nimble, as it consolidates all its main function under one system. As a employee, i can try out "multiple" roles by using the other functions, this is a potentially learning jump board for one to move anywhere in this place, as one is expose to all functions.

My work still seem simple. Not as difficult as my previous employment. But i have yet to fully hands on doing the task. So far, its pretty straight forward, just a matter of time on getting use to it.

23th july to 4th Sept

Got into accident around 23th Sept, going back to the work force tomorrow.

That is about a month away from civilization interaction.

Had been wasting my time away. Grow fat, play wow, on and off looking at share prices but lost money.

Mentally and physically, i feel I'm not capable to go back to work. But i need to bring in money right? Cant depend on my parent...a parent to put food on the table, and my transport and medical bills to pay...with no assurance that my claims will be successful.

Didn't expect life after the accident to change so drastically. Feel like a old uncle. The only reason to live, is to help my family ease the financial burden, that's the only thing i can do, despite being uncomfortable.

This yr suppose to be a very good year for me, a year for the people who born under the year of dog. Ya...got retrench last year, bounced back to work within a month, a contract job which i don't like, but i endure and found a better job which is financially attractive...and that's all to it. Its all about the $, no passive whatso ever.

But the accident came, took away my "freedom", my way of life. My clock in life seem to reset. I have come clean with the woman who accompany me during this time. I can't give her what she wanted...and I'm in this state, trust cant be maintained...its seem to be for the better.

Friends seems clearer, who are the ones who really care, and who don't. But the world don't revolved around you. So i should stop becoming so petty.

This will be my toughest challenge in my life...going back to work in clutches, enduring the new environment with a handicap, a difficult task of defering my in camp training which has no results yet and a 2nd operation.

I have started praying to the deity in my house which i stopped since i'm in secondary school. I need some luck, to have a better fortune in my route ahead.

Accident that came

A sec later or earlier, will change my life.

I may end up in the coffin or i may end up going to work normally.

Been doing nothing for almost a week, just basic survival skills like eating, sleeping.

When im old, and there is no one to take care of me, what will happen?

Am i goin to stay at home whole day and rot? What can i do to make myself better off?

Relationship has become stale due to this accident. She has been good. I cant be expecting more, as i cant give her more.

6th day of waiting

Keeping tab of time before I lose hope

2nd class citizen in my own tuff

A contractor in a firm, surrounded by foreign talent.

Feel like I'm working overseas rather than in my own country.

I'm merely a substitute to help them do mundane work.

A underdog is always a underdog. U can only view the plums and only imagine how good it will taste. Some people have it, some dont, but what i cant accept is why is it not our own ppl enjoying these benefits but some others else where who dont belong here.

The push is greater than the pull factor. I have tolerate long enough and become silent of this mental torture...

My suffering will have to be extended...it takes really some motivation to carry on...some hope...that one day i will find a better place.

So close yet so far

There is a chance I'm not selected despite good feedback and went thru all of the interviews.

There r many other factors in play when a job is offer. 48 hrs has passed.

I have to stop waiting and move on.

Waiting for answer

Having to go to work, hearing foreign languages spoken around me...getting sick of it.

I really have enough...Plz end my wait earlier....Almost reaching my limit.

Expectations

Nervous. Not About the interview, but the compensation package.

1st time at a firm, which is a leader of it's league, I have high expectation on what they will offer.

But being realistic...I have to consider the possibilities that it may not be as attractive as I thought.

A role that will propel me to even greater heights in career advancement, a day job, a perm role, a leader of it's field, will I still say no?

I want the best of both worlds. I want to succeed. Plz give me good news later.

Offer interview

Make it thru the 2nd round. Unbelievble. I have imagine for days since the 1st interview whether I make it thru to the offer stage.

Plz make the offer unresistable that I don't even have to consider about it.

I can already imagine breaking the news to my current employer. They must be shock that I will leave despite the extension of my contract.

Plz break my income barrier goal...go back to normal day work.

Please give me the chance

A precious chance to enter a top tier management house. Went interview 2 days ago, there will be 2 more interviews if i make it through this round.

Feedback has been good but my experience is the least among all other candidates.

If i can hop to this firm, my career path will be of a definite path of potential upscale of wages and benefits.

Hope i get the good news today.

Juding

My work will be judge in nus this coming sat. Kinda keen to view my own works..haha..like my own exhibition....

Hope i can win something...tat will make my day and a boost to my portfolio.

Courses

Having a studio shoot session and a wedding course session soon.

Feeling exciting to embark in a journey i wish to take.

Hope it will divert my attention and energy to my goals and less of her.

Vice

Being a good man in a bad place is still a bad man.

Although i seem to been burning my pocket, it seems i'm still willingly.

Whats real, whats fake, whats lies, whats truth, doesn't matter in that room.

When should i put it to a stop...i guess the deadline will be till her bday.

A show, a dinner, a gift and a sweet goodbye.

She has been a great company, a treatment for my lost of another friend.

Poison medicine

Having someone in the arms helps me forgot someone I have lost.

I have miss her lesser. Is it time or is it the black swan?

Poison is medicine

A poison pill is a medicine. Knowing it will do me no good in the long run, it helps me overcome the current poison I have.

Real and fake is define

by your outlook of your world around you.

Lies and truth are words perceived by what u think it would be.

Is it important to know whats true and genuine as long no one get hurt?

Life can never be perfect, perfect according to your own standards which is flawed by another person's standard.

Compromise is what make us human, what make us love each other whom we are. That's what I'm looking for.

Not a mask, not a feel, but a understanding, a respect, which feel weirdly justified in a place where the black swan baths and the toads came by, watching the swan peddle silently under the moonlight...