Looking back at 07

A brief snapshot of the ups and downs moments in the year 07 in random order. haha, can get a chance to post my photos and videos. Think blog is a excuse to be your own star, your own biography, everything our you. haha...think im deprived of attention perhaps.

The worst job i had done so far: IT Expo in June 07. I was instructed to sell laptop cooler. I was also a ad hoc helper, moving estimated i think 100-300 cartons of mineral water which is given along with the purchase. There was so much people, i had hardly no space to stand, go toilet, no time to enjoy my food, had to keep on shouting, explaing the different lap top cooler properties..come on lah...its a nightmare.



The bravest thing i done so far: also at IT Expo, ask a gal for her hp number and expressing my interest in at 2am while we are moving the stores. This is CRAZY! But i never get her number. Her reason, "our age are too far apart!" A difference of 6 years is it too far, or was it just a excuse. I think its a excuse because the turth hurts. Haha, i was glad i ask, but wasnt impress with the way i handle the consequences. It was a impulse i havnt had in years, something like if u dont ask, u will regret for the rest of the year.

The most stressful position i had: dealing with my group mates not doing their best in their assigned task (what i think) and pushing the workload to every1 else. I really dislike their attitude...to think i had been working with them for so long. Hazi, no 1 is perfect, there will be times you will also not able to be perform, this is what i say to myself to convince myself, hey, its alright...oh man...i really hope this is the truth...not that they just dont want to make any effort.

The most outrageous thing i done: do a robotic dance (jus a brief minute) in front of the lecture. haha its was a impromptu presentation, thus i jus did it. Its a shocker, even for my close friends...haha...im a person who wear many masks, when its time to change, i will need to.

The saddest point in 07: my dear friend, KK, had passed away and i missed him dearly. He had been a inspiration and a kind, sincere person whom i can pour my thoughts, share my weirdest ideas, be myself with. He is the first friend i had in mind to share my problems, my pain, my happiness. He is truely a reliable friend and earns a special place in my heart. Thanks for being part of my life, its a honour to know you.

The happiest point in 07: its hard to think of one, perhaps i never been really delighted. Theres no one defining moment, perhaps only some laughts at stupid, funny, lame moments along the journey. Think i was relieve i manage to finish my 3 year degree, although i never did achieve my goal of attaining 3.0 gpa. Initially my goal was becoming a top student, haha, there will always be a mountain higher than another.

This is all i can think of in an hour. Hope next year i can have more memorable moments, more good ones that is.

A Christms greeting fwd to me

2day i gotten a email from a close friend i called G. He forward to me some1's (i call X) email christmas greeting to another person and me. I have no idea why would him forward me the christmas greeting from X. Is he lazy to type a christmas greeting and send to his friends, or is he acting as a messanger for X to send to me because i block X? I did not want to probe G on this matter, because i choose to be forgotten by X and i do not bear hopes that X will remember me. I just wish X to be happy and be surrounded by people whom she luv and they luv back. Btw, the christmas greeting is a personal message and not a E card, thus i feel privilage if its being send by the sender herself. However if my friend G is just "borrowing" the greeting and send to me, i have to say his action reflect badly on himself.

Self Worthness?

Suddenly a feeling of uselessness overwhelm me. After finishing my last paper, it has been 2 months, yet i havnt secure a job. My goal has change since i begin my job hunting.

Initially went to P company, ZR(a friend) ask me to accy him since he ask the interviewer whether he can bring a friend. That time, i felt like a extra because i wasnt the one P company was asking for. Nevertheless, the no basic pay and its ok job scope dont appeal to me. And I thought i still have time till end of the year.

My 2nd interview was with another bank. This time round i went with ZR again, but it was a concidence. Amazing. However, after the interview, after a few hours i got home, i got my reject letter. Apparantly, my relevent experience and speech fail to impress the interviewers. I wasn't keen with the job, but it offer the incentive i looking for. Reflecting on the interview, i was kinda glad i wasnt accepted since i think i wont be able to cope with the pressure that came with the job.

My 3rd interview, my first "got it on my own" interview. I was happy. It was a famous bank, and the job was a position i was keen. Like my other previous interview, i prepare dilligently. Once i got there, the interview last only 10 minutes, compare to the others which last around 30-45min. It was short and i think i perform badly. Firstly, i thought i was keen on the job, yet when he describe the job, i knew what he was offering and i clearly know what i was applying, however it seems that moment it wasn't the job i looking for. Is it because of fear of doing something new and not being to be able to excel, or is it the pay (he quote $100 lesser, but i think live with it) or is it i think, i can get better offers than this price with this position in other banks? I left the place with a heavy heart and know thinking back, i should have be more enthuastic about the position. Im just a graduate, with no relevent experience. There are plenty of people who can easily replace me.

Now, its just a few hours before the 2008, and im still living off my aging parents. Sometimes i choose to numb myself by indulging in other activities...like my friend say once to me "It sucks to be you" (Although he didnt say it based on this subject, however, i can see this attitude applying in my daily life.

I dare not say im a unfortunate kid as i have a supportive mum who cares, a dad which i did not call him, i see him as a guy who bring home the bread (but its not a normal family), a smaller brother who i think he is still immature in his thinking. I have gone my own taste of achievement and failure which change my attitude in the past 25 years. And its still a long way for me to polish myself from a rough stone to hopefully someone who can support himself and his family.

Haha. Think i write all this down, so that i can reflect on my thoughts and convince myself "Hey, u been there, and u have the potential to make it, dont give up yet, because others havnt give up on u"

Its just a simple matter of getting a job, yet it had become a burden on me, because i cant get one. Haha, i have to admit im useless, incapable but i wont give up.

Goals for the new year 2008

Doable goals (goals which i will set to achieve)

1. Lose weight by doing exercise for about 30-60min, target weight lost is 10kg and pass my ippt by feb 07(highly difficult)
2. open a trading account, start my tradin system, by feb i shld have my account and started to have 1 stock in my portfolio
3. get a job to start the cash flow, target 2.2 - 2.5k (highly unlikely)
4. go on tour with my family within june-december (need calcualate tickets, destination, number of days, which tour ticket)
5. save space for goals i discover along the way

All words, no action goals (goals which i may end up not doing)

1. Get a GF? haha...c fate..cant even bother to meet new ppl
2. Rock climbing? climbing mountains? See if i have the time and energy and buddies who will want to climb
3. Standchart marathone 08? haha, cant even finish my 2.4km
4. Attend the rmit graduation convent? think i pass on that, im not especially proud of my achievements..hazi
5. Cancel my singnet plans, MIO sucks..but it expires in 2009, means i have to pay a pently, hazi...dnt tink i can afford it
6. haha, tink there will be more unfinish goals to come

Now i have 2 library books wit me, better finish it soon. One is "God Delusion" by Richard Dawkin (recommended by Kelvin) another is "Way of the Turtle" (came across the book in Borders, never expected it to be quite famous in the trading field) Once i get on with my trading, will share my knowledge on the blog.

I used to read only text books and a few selected finance and business biography books. Now i hope to develop the interest in reading more, enquiring more knowledge, especially the trading expertise field. How to create multiple cash generating vehicles so that i can use my limited time to earn more, thus reduing my financial burden. 1 word: to get out of the rat race.

Looking and waiting for job

I has been searching for a job relating to the finance industry for around 2 months and have only went to 2 real interviews (the other 1 is recommended by a friend). Feeling quite useless realising my friends have found theirs. Useless or unlucky, plain lazy or simply i dont possess the edge needed compare to the others who apply for the same job.

In the nature world,the strongest survive in the dynamic ecosystem, the strong live and pass on their genes - natural selection theory (learn it in my business studies subject, later came across the term in Richard Dawkin's works: God Delusion). Now in my situation, the best will get selected and approached first rather than the 2nd rated, common candidates among the interviewees.

Blaming the environement, blaming the system, y not say due to yr ill preparation? The only time i can say i didnt prepare was the sudden phone interview by CS. Hazi...too late for regrets, i doubt the company will call me again.

Just send 2 more resumes, im getting more desperate to secure a job. A part of me want to work to earn money, to support my mother in the household allowances, but another part of me tell me i cant just rush into some job that wont appeal to me in the long run...hazi...but it seems the latter is a worthless worry because i wasn't given any offers..the bargaining power lies with the companies, not me because im easily replacable due to my medicore academia results, lack of experience, perhaps also other poor interaction skills, or socialising skills which i cant impress my interviewers.

Hope i get some replys soon.