increase expendiation

Just realize my overall expenditure increase, most probably is due to my taxi travels, weekend transport, hobby...gotten to cut down..in terms of food.

Not sure what else i can cut down to reduce cost.

Dnt even have a gf, already bleeding so much...haha...single life is good

The chase for $

My line manager have a 1 2 1 talk with me today.

It was a casual talk. He going to get married next month, going to india for about a month.

Talk about girls, relationships.

He has a 11 yrs of experience, and say he decided to take on a role of a manager but with lesser pay, due to the profile. This profile enables him to grab on better opportunities, to alleviate to the top of the corporate ladder, rather than just the chase of the $.

This is advice to me. I wasnt given the answer whether i was renew anot. Regardless the case, i just carry on my job search.

A dream

A dream I have last night

She was having a ice-cream cone, looks vanilla. There was another guy beside her.
I was there as well. But I wasn't sure if I was notice
Or jus invisible.

She was playing with him, offering the ice cream, end up poking the ice cream into his nose.
His face is blurred, but can see some glimpe of detail. He is mature, looks financially stable, taller, handsome looks.

The guy look back @ her, his eyes tell her, ur so childish, but I like it. They are in love. She smile. She is really happy.

I wasn't jealous, I feel happy. No sightless feel of envy. I'm really happy for her.

I woke up. Still thinking about her.

No $

$ is power. $ is everything. No $ no talk.

This is life as I c it. Sad isn't it. This is the truth of my life @ age 29.

Stranger's advice

She tell me it take 2 hand to clap, rs cant be solved.

Having knowing her for just a few weeks, some long email exchanges, her email strike my heart, it takes a stranger's advice to wake me up.

Staying out of social circle network for a while, keeping my distance, anyway, she wont care also..haha....i respect this friendship.

Love marco lens

Went to rent the lens for sun again. Plan to buy a diffuser.

Saw a couple of utube macro techniques, now i understand why marco is hard in terms of managing the DOF, aperture, iso, shutter, together, to get a nice shot.

Hope it will be good. More than 80percent will be buying one for good.

Will be going to all parts of nature, capture insects, flowers, the life of the micro world...a wide derivation from the pictures i took normally. Guess i need some variety in my shoots as well.

GCP

GCP is a hardware zone acronym. Simply means, girls who are materialistic.

I came across a thread, about this guy married woman of his dream, a 5 yrs rs, but now marriage is on the rocks, because of different expectations, when they seems to decide to go with it, with a child.

It kinda reflect that in this world, girls will definitely look for a man who can provide them with a better lifestyle, some, want to be tai tais, then they need to look for rich partners. Each has their own targets. But when, things change, lifestyle deteriorate, will the marriage still survive based on love? Time will be the test, things will work out only if both want to make it work.

The more $, u have, the more comfortable u will be. $ talks. Period. And again, love, will always be secondary.

Reflecting on myself, yup, i fall into the gcp trap. I knew she was expecting someone earning more than her, her ex, minimum is easily 10k over per annum, drives at least a sport car, gave her luxury bags. I'm not handsome, not tall, not rich. There is no way our expectation will have met. Reading this thread, does make me feel fortunate, that she rejected me, cos knowing it will not last. I'm not within her minimum standards and we will not be happy.

http://forums.hardwarezone.com.sg/showthread.php?t=3155373

http://singaporeseen.stomp.com.sg/stomp/sgseen/stomp_love_story_2011/533700/love_story_many_guys_were_after_her_but_only_i_captured_her.html

IPT

Decided to go for a try for this ipt session, allows flexibility to cater to my shift schedule.

The only con is that i dont have make up pay. The pros, i wont have to worry not going for the compulsory rt after failing my ippt.

Time is all i care. Got to burn at least 8 Saturdays, that will be 2 months.

Surprise finding

Went out with my macro lens to a nearby area to search for some close up shots.
Never expect to find a family of monkeys staying near by.
Go a few good shots. Marco is really good for portrait. Thus it can be a money saver if u thinking of buying a portrait lens, why not buy a macro instead.
Cannon 100mm L USM Marco

Your camera doesn't matter

Photographers make photos, not cameras.

The camera's only job is to get out of the way of making photographs.

Your equipment DOES NOT affect the quality of your image. The less time and effort you spend worrying about your equipment the more time and effort you can spend creating great images. The right equipment just makes it easier, faster or more convenient for you to get the results you need.

Maybe because it's entirely an artist's eye, patience and skill that makes an image and not his tools

Quote: http://www.kenrockwell.com/tech/notcamera.htm

Trying very hard

Trying very hard to forget u

Still a piece of me still want to hold on to u
I want to delete your messages, your emails
But a piece of me want to keep it
To remember it is real

I kept myself busy
Willingly and unwillingly
Only to find myself
Missing u more

I went to look for other girls
But to see u instead of her

To be frank...
I don't want to forget you
But it bring me pain
A pain that is the only evidence
That my love for u is real

If I forget you
It will mean none of this is real
But just a dream and nothing more.

I wish i knw why

I wish I knw why

U treat others better than me
Am I too hard to please
Or it's just me building walls around me

Are the past just good memories
The present doesn't seem what it used to be
What did I done wrong
That deserve this

I don't blame u for Yr reactions
But I can't help feeling lost to Yr inaction

Where r u now

Where r u now

U won't tell me
I can only hope ur not in someone else's arm
But that is so selfish of me

I can only be there when she needs me
N there is all to it
Why bother thinking abt her
When she doesnt have u in her dream

What is love, Plz tell me
Is it real or is it just a myth
It seems the more I search for it
This "love" seems to disappear from me

Perhaps I should stop looking for it
As love will never come to me
All I can pray is she is happy n be loved
Painful this feeling it can be,
I dont have any choice
But to wish her happiness without me

Weekends r hard to pass by

Been Vy tired, kept myself bz

But still after the event is over, I can't help feeling empty.

I really wanted her by my side but she will never be there.

I try to be better, but it seems like its just a impossible dream.

If I did. Will things b different?

Settling down?

If u have high expectation frm yr partner, make sure u yourself have high expectation of yourself.

Personally, i feel, the woman here are highly educated, and are capable of higher earning power. They, or even me, will choose to settle down with one who can provide better quality of life, having a car, having their own house, income of at least more than 5k minimum (my own view of comfortable living), and of cos, with the essentials, to be humorous, caring..blah blah blah, which most guys have.

Love is overrated. Anyone can provide u love...if they want to, and if you allow them. $, takes capability. It seems society uses $ as a measure of self worth.

This is my view of life. Saddening, but seems to be truth. No $, no talk.

Loving someone

Found this in a thread in HWZ

Almost lost

Almost lost in pursuit my dreams..which often never come true.

Distractions and problems @ work, past emotional baggage, dragged my energy to a low point in life...

Have to remind myself im living my own life, no one is going to bother whether u will become what, only you have to decide for your self based on actions u do today.

By next week, photo editing will be completed, by next month, 19th April, website will be accomplished. Im not sure if its realistic, at least time is make up.

No point worrying what will happen to my career, doing my very best in work, sending resumes, looking out...choices will be better when u make them often.

Sat is almost over. Sun is near. Hope my spirit will be better 2mor and some traction on my project will start tonight.

Worker loyalty

Mar 19, 2011
Fukushima 50 - lessons in worker loyalty

THE extraordinary courage of the Fukushima 50 - the Japanese engineers and technicians battling to contain the nuclear fallout from reactors damaged in the earthquake and tsunami - offers lessons to Singaporeans.

One important factor behind the dedication of these workers is Japan's collectivistic corporate culture that values loyalty and ensures long-term employment security. This is in contrast to the American model, which is characterised by individualism and short-term profitability.

These values are reflected in the salaries of senior executives: CEOs in Japan are rewarded far less than their counterparts in the United States and Europe.

While the Japanese corporate culture has often been criticised for breeding conservatism and inertia, and for rewarding riskaverse senior management, it has also fostered an exceptional sense of team spirit and commitment that transcends short-term gains. This sense of esprit de corps is evident among the Fukushima 50 workers, and it is through them that the best of Japan Inc is being shown in these harrowing times.

Singapore Inc has been moving towards the US model with its emphasis on rewarding 'top talent' generously. Over the years, we have been seeing increasingly disproportionate levels of remuneration for senior executives in contrast to workers down the line who have to face the prospects of redundancy and wage reduction in tough times.

Also, given the ease of replacing local staff with foreign labour, Singapore Inc risks being turned into a mercenary, alien and transient space peopled by workers with little sense of belonging, loyalty and commitment that is found in the Japanese worker.

Liew Kai Khiun

Quote: http://singaporemind.blogspot.com/2011/03/fukushima-50-lessons-in-worker-loyalty.html

Read this in HWZ forum, its describe closely to what i feel right now. Currently working with a group of india indians, full timers, while i am working as a contractor on a 6 mth basis. Its difficult to be the minority, feeling alienated. All i care was to finish my overloaded task and going home on time.

Its a tough time for me...having no relevant experience in this new role, its like starting from scratch. I feel like quiting, I couldn't stand the smell of their natural perfumes, I couldn't take the nonsense of my immature bossy boss...its bad coupled with the overwhelming work which i will almost definitely do OT everyday..without claiming OT....

According to a senior who work for 10yrs in operations, she say, "its the same everywhere u go" strikes a reality to me...if i am to purse this line, i have to get use to it...

I can, but my colleagues n boss are bad enough...its tough...hope there will be some hope for me in my career path.

I feel no loyalty to this company, just a contract, with benefits given to the foreigners, higher pay. if i have better opportunity, i will leave without looking back.

Property agent

Another viable choice for becoming another income stream.

Rather than dumping another 2k into CFA, i rather spend lesser on taking a license which see potential upside returns.

http://realtorwannabe.com/how-to-become-a-property-agent-in-singapore

"An income from a job is your security as long as you are relevant to the company paying you. However, your relevancy is not part of their corporate strategy"

"To know today is to start believing you will and can succeed with labor and hardwork. Act on those beliefs by working your guts out and remained faithful to those beliefs. All promises are made by you and keeping them leads you to the path of success. The fruits of success is yours and yours only"

Quote: http://realtorwannabe.com/how-to-become-a-property-agent-in-singapore/so-whats-your-worry

After reading the entries, its kinda real that there are pros n cons..when money is involved. Another alternative is real estate photography...which i happen to see a opportunity.

We r jus acquaintances

is what she always say.

Now it seems this way, at least, i being to react this way.

There's no point writing to a person who doesn't reply.

N writes to you when she needs you.

I understand. Things are clearer now.

I was sad...but now...I think its better this way, if this is what she want.

Much awaited interview

Went for it, try it, got it?

Chances i feel are quite low, less than 50 percent.

It seems this job is the one for me...but got to look out for others...

the only motivational way for me to go work is to now i have other better places to go to.

Confidence is all about

Real confidence comes from knowing and accepting yourself - your strengths and limitations - in contrast to depending on affirmation from others."

Quote: http://www.singleshelp.org/1intro.html

A old calling

From a agent, who contact me last dec, on a job i wanted very much.

He told me, this time, i can get interview, cos hiring freeze is over...

He gave me much hopes, and took them away..now he is back...

Hope this time round is real, i really wanted the pay jump and perm role...

Seriously, i already grew sick of this work...

The only clicks i have are in the morning shifts, the work often need to do overtime, and i wont get compensated, the line manager is so amateur...and is a contract..w no benefits...the only motivation i have, is to leave work on time...

and on the cab..to feel lonely...wondering abt my cs colleagues.

We are less than colleagues, less than frens, less than acquaintances...we r just strangers who knew each other...in a way.

First photo grp shoot of my new coy

One of my colleague is having his last day today.

I happen to rent my lens today, so think, i have a grp photo of him with the rest of the gang.

Just took a couple of shots, and tats all...haha..but it was kinda "high", cos this grp seems pretty close yet individualist, meaning they work well with each other, but i dont see them hanging out together.

Im not close to all of them also, but just feel, i wont be bothered whether is close anot....just follow my heart, attain what i want...

Looking back @ the photos, they seem happy..expect for a few bah...duno them well, but i feel is fake smile one..haha...mayb im wrong...

Still got a long way to go, to have the "camera man" feel to bring the crowd willingness to be photo, to bring their happiest smile on their face for the 1 press of the trigger button.

The red ring

Finally got my hands on the Red ring, L USM lens, but its not mine, just rent it over the weekend to test with the 17-55mm.

It seems with a couple of shots, still, 17-55m feels better than the L lens on the crop body. Theres a saying, Mian Qiang Mei You Xin Fu...tis is true...

The guy who serve me is experienced with camera, ask him on the difference bet 70-200 IS w non IS, and gave me example on the shuttle speed individual using to differential on whether u need the IS anot. For moving object, IS doesnt help. For low light, with a higher iso will help, IS doesnt really factor in much alot...it gave me a different light on IS usage.

For L lens, its better with FF, he recommend 5D M2, n normally ppl rent them, the 2nd pair of camera, he was like kinda shock i was thinking of buying one. HAha...too rich...no, i not rich...i just want to make myself achieve something i think its too far for me to attain.

Knowing someone new a month

Made a promise with Kel, to know a gal a month, during our batam trip last year.

Wasn't really serious about it, cos i didn't really try hard, n i have L as a target.

Jus last week, my casting of net, fail miserably, no one replies as usual..haha.

But then, i decide to use a different approach, it turns out, i know 2 new gals, N and I out of the 14 email i send out.

Not sure how things will go, but will carry on casting net...jus afraid i cant cope with the volume of email im getting doing that...

Im just interested to make more gal friends, to know more great different unique personalities, to know more about the female psyche...if we can connect mentally, i guess, time will tell whether we are suitable to meet face to face.

HAHA...no more shallow Hal...but then, wait i see the person, mayb im really one.

Well, im not out to cheat ppl, jus want to make internet dating more successful for single sincere guys out there...cos gals are simply guarded.

Goals for this week

Finish editing of My first wedding series, remake a dvd cd with colleagues and a thank you card to the couple for their baby first shower.

Getting my lens, 17-55 or 24-70mm before Sunday, to photo baby portraits. This means learning techniques for baby shots, dedicating 30mins a day or more if necessary to learn.

Reading 20-30 pgs of final theory, covering 1 time of the book before the text next week.

Long term goal

Command 3k at least per wedding shoot per month, increasing annual income by double, covering over head n lens cost, budget 6k.

Pass final theory, car will have to wait...till i get my business profit hitting 100k.

Im declaring these so i will accomplish them. A man's word is worth tons. I will not break my own promise.

Photography as a career

I read that money comes when u follow yr passion.

Hope this theory is right for me.

I only like photography, taking moments, strangers, capturing that emotion i want for the views to see or feel. That was 2 yrs ago, when i got my dslr.

When i met L, its a different thing, photography is about capturing the one you love. U wan to present the most beautiful side of her, the emotions, the happy moments. Its about expression. Protraits are the hardest especially you are taking the one you love the most as it never feel perfect. As every moment seems so perfect.

I have tried wedding photography once, but it was kinda amature, i did my best with my equipment...but now, im on a new level. Armed with more mature knowledge, going to get 17-55 and 70-200mm, 85mm 1.2f lens, and another wide range on my list to have...

Im going to be a wedding photographer....i cant find love, but i hope my pictures can capture your most important moments in both of your lifes, your true love, in this celebrated ceremony, of man and wife.

Goals are dreams with deadline, and realistic deadlines and plans.

Now is already Mar. 1 lens per month, shld be within my budget, I will consider rental for fish eye and wide lens. that leave me with purchase with 2 lens...and other accerories perhaps..budget wise, i can afford it.

Skills, i need training in studio photography, flash lights.

Video making, photo montage...are all essential skills, work flow, practising make perfect.

Marketing, establishing a website..one of the most important mile stone of my progress...i have gotten back my 1st wedding cd i make for a couple...going to remake them with effects, CS5, wedding photography effects and gave them back, asking for permission to advertise on my website...a flash one, with romantic music.

It seems alot...i need video grapher (outsource), 2nd camera (FF), assistant, meeting clients, undestanding what they want, getting to know them, is important to get the feeling right.

Sourcing of locations is one of the list to do as well.

Its quite alot, to earn a market rate of perhaps less than my salary for a deal. But its always hardest the first step...

One thing i learn, Im going to announce, that by year end, realistically, im going to do another wedding photoshoot. Im going to make it happen.

Self worth

She is going on dates now, she always do...

Sometimes i cant help feeling worthless that she doesnt like me, now dont even care about me...as a friend.

But i have let go, tell myself, hope this guy will be good to her, and she will not get hurt..then its all tat matters...

Its tough...its been 2 months...I still feel hurt..knwing this news...but i have to move on...whether will i have to chance to find this mystic feeling of love, i not sure what is tat anymore...all i know im dont tink im worthly of it...im just like a window shopper, i can only look at it, i cant afford to buy it...i can go into the shop, to test it, tried it, but never have the capability to own it.

Goodwood high tea walk abt

Wedding reception table @ 1900. I was thinking if whether I have the capability to capture this one of these important moments as a professional.

Goodwood high tea

Goof, my pal for 20 plus yrs, brought me to Goodwood for high tea. He got vouchers for "volunteering" in his company event for photo shoot. I have to say...this is best, to be rewarded for your passion.

Brought my 50mm 1.8 lens for testing. The service and food is above average, the service i have to say, is not above average, is quite excellent in fact. There was a lip stick on goof's cup, which we got it change.

There is also a durian puff cafe beside the cafe we are having the high tea. The view is better, with the swimming pool, lounge, a outdoor like atmosphere with air conditioning and gals chatting around the glass tables w their cakes and coffee...cute gals.

Oragami Hello Kitty w Beary

I didnt took pictures for making of beary...so i decide to take pictures of Hello Kitty...which im quite impress with my self.

I wasnt able to wrap this paper gift..so as usual, i make the trip to Paper Mart @ raffles for them to help me wrap it. The moment i took out this Kitty, the gals, the staff...were like "So Cute!!!"

I was thinking, great..means she will like it. The "AWww" was of a great scale compare to the time to bring beary for wrapping. Beary is a pet name i called for the blue paper oragami, which is suppose to be a bear...haha.

3d oragami Hello Kitty

A gal friend's birthday was coming..and she was my listening ear, my eyes, during this period of time when i was sort of depressed.

She is a nice gal, w a caring boyfriend. She is much loved as well. Im glad to know her before i left my previous company.

After reading adam khoo's ebook, i was decide to put his advise into test..that is use the word "must" to finish this gift. It was a tuesday night and by friday i have to finish it. And im working shift. So time is limited, and I havnt make this Hello Kitty model before. However, i told myself...if i want to do it, i do it good. Having made the bear model for Valentine's day, which i end up didnt gave to the one i love, this experience enable me to finish this Hello kitty to a great extend.

Weekends

Weekends r ofthen quite hard to pass by.

Cos if I'm nt bz abt work...I will begin to think of the gd times

Wondering hw is she doing...asking myself do I still like her

Nxt week there may be a chance to meet her...

But I not sure if I want to see her.

Jus want to be invisible...knowing she is doing well.

It's enough for me.

Change life

Just Change Your Life If You Hate It So Much…” So They Say.

But In Truth & Reality – To CHANGE Your Life…

You MUST Change The Perception of Life Itself FIRST...!

http://thefraternity-oak.blogspot.com/2010/02/change-your-life.html