Is it real? Is It? Some1 tell me!

"No more banking jobs" i affirmed in my previous posting and i choose to reject the offer if the dealer position calls me. I never it expect to call me.

It call me, say im accepted for this position at 4.30pm when i was about to walk across the zebra crossing, after a visit to recruit express. Time momentarily stop..."Acceptance" is a taboo word for me in my job search. Never once i did got any offers. She continued, "the benefits are as follows: 2plus k, midnight shift..blah blah..." It was wonderful...i can sense she was smiling and chatting happily over the ear piece...she know i was glad to accept the offer...

i reply " when can i start work?" She respond "u need come down get letter of appointment" "ok, when i need to come down" i replied. She say either tomorrow or next monday will be ok, i instinctly decided 2mor will be good, time settle at 1030 at lvl 2 of tat building.

I was in cloud 9 temporary...have my search come to an end...my daily routine of waking up, loggin in to job database, reading classified, has ended? i begin to realise, i have yet to tell them about my RT commitment...thus 2mor will then know whether i do can qualified for this position...

During this time, many dear friends has supported me in their own way especially Marcus (recommend me the job, tolerate my nonsence), Kelvin (tolerate my nonsense, share wit me his knowledge, help with my resume), Kongming (my resume Editor-of-Chief, Advicer,listening ear), Dexter (entertainer, tolerate my crap, listening ear), Wendy (supporter, take my nonsense, entertain me now n then), Joey (recommend me job, supporter, listening ear), Boon (Resume advicer, tips giver, listening ear), Mark (Entertainer, share "ho liao" wit me), ZR (Entertainer, crap loader and giver, listening ear, daily stock news to free my mind, msn chat mate), Kenny (listening ear, advicer)and Jianning, Advin, Ally, Goof has lent me their ears and support when i needed assurance. Thank you all.

i cant believe i had applied 3 different positions given by the same company, and being rejected twice and went through many interviews before i land on this job...an a entry level position to the banking sector...my initial first choice, and the position "a dealer" one who transacts securities for customers...one which is also one of my favourite banking position.

I'm so happy, delighted, and free...and 2mor once i really do get to touch and confirm the letter of appointment, im goin to embark on another journey, a journey that i knw i will face many new challenges. I will do whatever it takes to become the best i can in the field i chosen. Thank you for giving me the opportunity, tolerance of my mistakes and acceptance of my imperfection. Greatly appreciated.

No more banking sector jobs!

I suddenly decided that i apply no more to banking related positions. Even if the dealer job is to accept me, it means i choose to decline it even if i have not employed. M i crazy? im not sure. i rather choose to do a 1.8k job then to join a reputable bank doing the same things. Is it because im tired of being rejected, too afraid of being ousted out being in this competitive industry? Or is it i not confident whether i have the capabilities i proclaim i can to commit and contribute to the company. I chose to be a shadow underlings who work for ppl that has the guts to make the big decision. I choose to be the underdog working in a position that is suited for a underdog, while i indulge myself in my own private business of trading, enjoying my pressure of analyzing, and refining my portfolio and trading system. Perhaps i be happier this way.

Under/overqualified

Has now turn my focus on shipping/logistic/sales coordinator/accounting/admin positions. All these need relevent experience of 1 year which i dont have, but need just an O lvl, diploma to be eligible, which i overqualified. Requirements such as knowledge in this and this, i have no idea what they are talking abt, does reduce my chances...2ndly, their pay is always below 2k, the highest i seen is only 1.9k. haha, and that need 3 year of relevent experience and O level requirment.

Fresh grad in advertisement to a large extend implies to diploma holders, not to fresh degrees holder. Armed with a general degree, even with a major in finance, i dont seem to satisfy into their required job descriptions.

Just give me a 2k job and end my search....im easily satisfied. Haha, and 2day there is one job that i could apply, but i cant apply...



Gender discrimination? All just that its a concidence all the staff recruited just happen to be female?? What does the boxed up message implied? If im a gay, a lesbian, transversite or a blooded youthful healthly male with the dashing looks of a superstar and bodybuilt that can put any hunks to shame, am i still eligible?

whats yr weakness

2day went to the 2nd interview for the dealer job. It was the longest ard 1hr plus. haha..i stumbled when he ask wat 2 weakness i hav...weird is tat i only found 1. Its a standard question yet i cant properly tink of 1. Sures its a job i want, but tink i ready to give it up for a offer that is readily available for me.

2mor goin to JAC again for an accounting assistant position. Kongming say tis a blind position, a position that is not yet exists and is for poly students. Definitely, its a diploma position, its stated in the first line...haha

2k job, after cpf deduction, only 1.6k. Sad. haha. U pay peanuts for monkey. Better than no peanuts rite? Or r u not a monkey, but a rat? a dog? Monkeys eat peanuts?

Unexpected help and support

Haha...a unexpected long lost friend, aka kongming, went to demostrate his techniques, secrets and skills to revamp my resume. Definitely looks professional now. Weird its that i had to met him in the mrt last year when i was on my way home after my trip to Credit Sussie Career Talk. I have learnt this very important tool to use the phase "Support administrative duties such as .." to make my ad hoc no brainer work routine sounds so important and productive. Haha.

He's from my secondary gang. I remember theres Daniel, Zhiqiang, Hock Lye, Shu ming, Yi Hang, Kian Ann from my class. Its like they are my play mates in school, mayb not really play, but just to have fun with..haha..esp after final papers, every1 will bring board games, uno cards, n jus play "HEART ATTACK" Shu ming will crack stupid joke, its was very lame thinking back on his joke, but i did laugh madly. Secondary school days are the best and also the turning point of my life where i fall into my mental abyss of shame.

Friends getting married

Got a email from a close friend. She send her ROM online gallery and post her love story to share this wonderful news to the world.

Although i was shock, haha, ok, not shock, perhaps, surprise, pleasantly surprise, that she decided to tie the knot. Haha, i listen to her complains and grumbling but still deep down in her heart, she loves this person who love her back. Shes a happy fruit, kai xin guo, and i know her hubby will make her kai xin :)

The decision to get married officially, is a sign of committment, recognised by the society. Both party will promised each other despite old, illness or whatever happens, they will stand by each other. Life seems fulfilling when u knw yr existence is there for someone special and that special some1 recipocate the same fuzzy feeling.

Perhaps whats important in relationships, is just love, to be who u r really and he/she accept who u r and not what u pretending to be. U can be yrself and the opposite party will be by your side no matter what happens. Love is also like an double edge sword, the more u let some1 into your heart, the more vulnerable u r to his/her actions. But its a risk one has to take to find love in this materialise world which other variable like earning power, the ability to provide for the future, the capacility to achieve a save haven for yr family.

Who m i kidding, definitely this is a condition. To love some1, is not to let the person suffer with u, or to rephase, to provide the best within your means to bri comfort and love to yr family. I emphasize the word "best". But to what degree is your partner's wants and your combine earning power and time, two of them need to compromise to settle on the standard of living they can afford without forgotting they r together because of the love, not because of something else.

Wish them be happy and blissful as always and their relationships will last through the test of time and trials and their love, affection and commitment with each other will become stronger when facing new challenges of the married life.

Song for the day

For some unknown reason, this song is ringing in my mind

Agenies r middleman, and wont like 2 waste time.

Saw a couple of job, finance related with the tags "Fresh Grad" r welcome, but its by this agency i went.

Looks like they didnt call me or ask me whether i interested? Shld they? haha...shld i just send, dont care...i recall the time i spend 4 hrs in that agency in Paradize Centre doing a written test for the call center job...now im back again for another job?

I put myself in the agent's shoes " he cant make it thru the call centre, whats the chances of getting into these jobs? Stop wasting my time, i need process, fax, this cost the company money, time, man power, and most importantly, i dont have my commission. Its better for me to place my bets on the better horses than a horse that has lost. The odds simply doesnt add up."

Worthless paper or its just me?

Jobs relating to accounting, finance, admin all general pefer accounting/ finance/ banking diploma. First its cheaper to hire, 2nd most likely they have tat 1 yr experience. Degree holders of the same type are definitely welcome, just depending on whether the company want to match their pay requirement.

For me, a general business degree, a major in finance has little selling value to the pros, the focus accounting, finance degree. I cant even secure a temp position of a finance assistance which just looks for part time acca students or ord leavers? Reason im too expensive? Its better to hire a diploma with relevent experience at the same price? RMIT degree with a price tag of $1800? Whats this? Unwanted trash or a expensive worthless item that is only as useful to be a door stopper or a paper weight.

Haha, i now attempt to apply this position which is open from PRIMARY to FRESH GRAD r welcome job, with a salary of 1500- 2300.



Its hard to swallow when i realise i had to fork out 30k, 3 yrs of my time, just to apply for this position, and i dont even fit its requirement of that 1 yr relevent experience and its open to Primary school leavers. Unbelievable. My planning skills sucks. Haha. Every1 else grad from the same school dont seem to have this problem. Hmm..it must be me then, tats the root of all evil. But again..no 1 is pointing a gun at my head to apply, but then, i dont meet the requirements, so i dont have to expect anything, then irony again, y did u choose to send??? No send no hope, got send got hope???

1 more week to feb

end nov till jan, around 2 months, proceeding to the 3rd month if i didnt get any offers. Have to wait till early Feb if the big boss from dealer company wants me. Sign..all i can do is sign.

Seems many job available doesnt need a degree, a diploma will do, A levels will do, of cos with the relevent experience. Shld i give up lookin for finance related work into something else not relevent...im not refering to banking sector, something totally non related, like logistics, shipping. Im afraid of not being able to realise my goal just because of the initial step i take. Aiya...just do something else, later then go back loh...tat time will be 27 yrs of age. Just take a risk, u already make the bets, but u didnt win it. Time to switch tables o/w u be broke.

Selling myself

A fren send me his resume..haha..i was impressed with his language...could it be my resume looks pale compare to him...definitely...in terms of experience, language and the amount of words.

Ability to sell is a skill, an edge in whatever u do, negotiation with the boss, selling to clients, meeting and attracting the potential mate, partner, impressing the interviewers...yup its a life skill.

U must believe in the pdt to sell it, but packaging is the most important..like a crush..first u need to have that sexual attraction, or whatever attractiveness to make u decide to make the first move, same logic for a company to be entice to hiring u. Time to revamp my resume? Nope, not revamp, its a plastic surgery!

Feeling stress

Later 1430 got interview wit a company, a job recommended by marcus. I hate the feeling of being near the chance and i had to let it go feeling. Duno whether there are test, tough interview questions...then later at 6pm need rush to kabhit camp for phase 1 ippt test...wah....seriously if i duno do gd for interview..tink i realy sian in passing the ippt..if i do well..then i push myself pass ippt..also stress..haha..gd ting got this blog help me frustrate, clear my thoughts.

2 independent events. but if pass ippt, i can relax til my birthday which open my next ippt window. the job..if bad luck, i stumbled, then 2 bad...already prep laio,if cant, then at least got try rite?

Stay calm, stay calm..this aint judgement day, jus a day with 2 test in a row.

2k Olvl job?

Yup, i really applied for it...haha..its a assistant money broker job, max $2k, minimum qualification O level can applied. i applied for the prospect of becoming a full fledge broker perhaps...Went to the agent, JAC, first time with this agency. Its very systematic...fill up yr particulars at the pcs, then straight away lead u to a room. The interview was polite, and even escort u to the exit, ask u where ur heading..haha..realy good customer service. Im impressed with this standard of service from a recruitment agency. Makes a lasting good impression.

The job scope sounds very simple, just take notes, change the numbers on the white board when the brokers shout the respective prices and volumes changes. 1 has to be alert and sharp since there r many brokers and shouting around. If no call within next 3 days, means i not shortlisted..haha..nvm..at least i knw JAC knws im around still seeking employment

Rocky Balboa (2006) memorable quote

Rocky balboa say this to his kid:

Let me tell you something you already know. The world ain't all sunshine and rainbows. It's a very mean and nasty place and I don't care how tough you are it will beat you to your knees and keep you there permanently if you let it. You, me, or nobody is gonna hit as hard as life. But it ain't about how hard ya hit. It's about how hard you can get it and keep moving forward. How much you can take and keep moving forward. That's how winning is done! Now if you know what you're worth then go out and get what you're worth. But ya gotta be willing to take the hits, and not pointing fingers saying you ain't where you wanna be because of him, or her, or anybody! Cowards do that and that ain't you! You're better than that!

3rd interview for another position by the same coy!

haha..realy thxs marcus...recommend me the dealer position, nw wed goin to head my 3rd time to dbs for another interview. i applied for relationship manager, customer service officer, and now a dealer position...haha...im feeling happy but not overly delighted..cos of my past experiences.

wed is alos the day i goin for my ippt. 2 tests at 1 day. haha..i already prep for the worst...thxs for te recommendation.

Aftermath of a embarrassing experience

Life goes on, still have to keep on sending the resumes. If i am to born in the age where there is no internet, tink i will become tired of carbon copying my resumes.

Another friend recommend a job 2day, like another other job application, i just c which company one to invite me to waste their time..haha. Send many resumes 2day, as usual, but this time round, i include non specific banking related industries and more temporary positions. One which i like is from CPF board, another is a manufacturing company near my house..haha. Actually there r many job available if i dont restrict myself, but once i step into that line of career, it mayb hard to switch if i still want to go to banking sector. O..n i downgrade my expected salary by another 200, to a nice rd number of 2k..haha...lets c whats the corrosponding number of interviews im going to get based on this new price tag i valued myself.

Catch many movies (steaming version)over the weekend to distract myself from reality, i pronounce chuck and larry, Gladitor,i am legend, borat, AVP2, New world order, evan almightly, american pie: beta house, nation treasure: book of secrets and cant remb still got wat..c till i got headache. These r the movies link a fren given me n i find a few others:

http://moviebatch.blogspot.com/
http://www.watch-movies.net/release_date/
http://movie6.net/?p=80

Went to the job db fair, apply for 4 position and given my resumes to 3 agencies. Now kinda regret giving to the agencies, duno y...perhaps my past experience with agencies isnt good?

Dont tink i will want to be online on msn, hiding away from questions, consoles from both ppl who r concern of what im doing or just want to pester me to be their listening ears...how can i help when i cant help myself.

Double slap across the face

Went for te interview, fall out at the first round. i had to say im damn stupid...haha..

went back home, got another email from another coy, an rejection letter. Signs r telling me im not suitable for any positions in this field. i just dont have "it" i lack the street smart, flexibility, strategic thinking, common sense comparing to any fresh grad. im belong the the unwanted section. i cant go into this field. i have to stamp this percived truth into my mind now. I have undergo 5 yrs of brain washing to tell myself i will get into a finance job...but jus nearly 3 mths, i cant even pass a customer service test, a surprise phone interview. i have let go too much of a opportunity due to my incompetence, and the above i mention lack of skills and plus many more.

This situation reminds me of my rejection from NUS, NTU, SMU, i not qualified to enter for this course despite i met the minimum requirement. But this time round, its not because there r others better than me, its jus i ain't gd enough for them. Feel like drinkin 2nite...o man...tis is life from the view of an underdog..nope an underdog have the chance to truimph, im not a underdog, im a just a loser who percived myself as a underdog.

Now i had to change my career objective. Think i had enough rejections and no replys, and stupified interview results to tell me, plz get out, we dont accept rejects or want to be...we only want the real stuff. As much as i hate to say, i clearly dont make the cut, my internal benchmark is far too low as compare to the financial industry, perhaps to the various industries.

i realy appreaciated for rmit and my past companies for acccepting me despite my qualifications, truely feel value. thank you. im also sorry cos whatever i achieve in the past cant secure the position i apply with my current limited low value capabilities. Thus putting my past achievements into my resume does feel an insult to my past employer n school cos i simply dont represent these attributes physically when im at the interview. Sorry.

Got the interview

Call in the morning, no 1 pick up. Try again in the noon, some1 respond and im back on track. wil be heading to the place i b permanetly working if im selected. 2day i saw the same job advertised in job street, but with another location at Raffles, which is nearly to my hm...o man...forgot it..cant be choosy now, so hard to be so close to an interview with the actual coy.

3 round of interview...will i make it..if i do make it...can i pass my ippt the following wed to fit the schedule.

Msg a friend who hav been thru a bank customer svc job..ask her for tips, her immediate reply:" huh. U wan that kind of job ah" First thought, its not the first choice i looking for, but its at least a banking job where i can secure a 1 yr exp to job hop. Now with no relevant experience, i send so many, including temporary position, general position, internships, i duno..lost count...i knw it sounds sucks, but i have tried for the position i like but wasnt given the chance for any interview nor follow up.

My fren msg back "wait for another month, ppl will leave once they gotten bonus" Its a gamble to take if i were to wait...

Torn by Natalie Imbruglia

I thought I saw a man brought to life
He was warm, he came around like he was dignified
He showed me what it was to cry
Well you couldnt be that man I adored
You dont seem to know, dont seem to care what your heart is for
But I dont know him anymore
Theres nothing where he used to lie
My conversation has run dry
Thats whats going on, nothings fine Im torn

Im all out of faith, this is how I feel
Im cold and I am shamed lying naked on the floor
Illusion never changed into something real
Im wide awake and I can see the perfect sky is torn
Youre a little late, Im already torn

So I guess the fortune tellers right
Should have seen just what was there and not some holy light
To crawl beneath my veins and now
I dont care, I have no luck, I dont miss it all that much
Theres just so many things that I cant touch, Im torn

Im all out of faith, this is how I feel
Im cold and I am shamed lying naked on the floor
Illusion never changed into something real
Im wide awake and I can see the perfect sky is torn
Youre a little late, Im already torn. torn.

Theres nothing where he used to lie
My inspiration has run dry
Thats whats going on, nothings right, Im torn

Im all out of faith, this is how I feel
Im cold and I am shamed lying naked on the floor
Illusion never changed into something real
Im wide awake and I can see the perfect sky is torn
Im all out of faith, this is how I feel
Im cold and Im ashamed bound and broken on the floor
Youre a little late, Im already torn

lyrics from http://www.lyricsfreak.com/n/natalie+imbruglia/torn_20098240.html

B fitting of yr role in society

Y must i be bothered abt a missed opportunity? I shld be contended with my life, my health, right? Y waste yr energy worrying about getting an interview which is contended by many others just to earn a living. Theres always time, jobs available, its jus a matter of waiting for the elites, the better candidates to have their turn b4 u. so just hav to wait, like a crow, a bald eagle, waiting at the corpse, while the dominate hunters have their share first.

Scavangers, have their role in the system. They do tasks which will be a waste of talents and time for others of superior cabability. Without scavangers, there wont be clean streets, hygenic toliets, nice plants along the roads, clean pantry, handling yr calls, obediently listen to the men not in black, listen to boss, bear the wrath of paying customers, a modern slave worker by selling yr youth, yr irrevesible life span to a pay check which determines hw much yr life is worth per hour.

Gd news, u can hike up the price of yr life by goin into other investments, real estates, stocks, options, financial instruments.

Theres another value, a instrinistic value of life, one cant measure. Yr attitude to fellow spieces, yr morals, yr impact on others leading them to be a better person due to yr ripple effect. This, u have to find yr rewards within yrself..a place where no1 can touch u, only u knw it.

Small things irritate me 2day

When things or events dont go in yr way, it seems every small thing will piss u off.
People riding bicycles along the walkway, pressing the bell, "BLINK BLINK", to warn people in front of the way. its especially irritating when many people is using the path, and yet there r bicycles, blink blink, as if the path is own by them. I really hate it. I dont wan to give names, both locals as well as foreigners, as long they use the bicycle and blink behind me, i project the image that i use a wooden plank or metal rod, slide in between the spooks of their bike, "BANG", they will fall face on the rough cement floor, with skin tear apart, imprinting the marks of the rough pavement. Even better, their kneel caps get bruises, their arms get scratch by their own bike and suffer sprains on their body. HAHA..yes im evil..im so piss off.

Went to top up the fare card at the train counter, u simply have to give yr money to the person behind the polystyrene thru a slot. After that, the person will enter the electronic money into the card, and guess wat? A speaker will say "10 dollars added. Thank you and have a nice day" A female version of microsoft sam. I look at the person, hes a robot. I can understand that hes a machine, being locked in a hamster like transparant cage, rooted his butt to the chair, the only exercise he do his is finger rolling the mouse scroll. Theres no facial expression. Simply a blank stare. We need a machine for this "customer service" Imagine the power and electricity to run the speaker. Woah...perhaps one day. we can have our vocals and mouth changed to a speaker, customerising what voice, we want. think that guy behind the counter will like it.

Bad luck

Ya..finaly the customer svc job called, but it called at 1800 when i was at camp doing remedial training. it call me twice and once at my hm. Will it b the end of my chance to apply for this entry position in the banking industry?

To others, it seems so easy to gain access to it, because they possessed the edge. For me, an ordinary guy, its like i need luck as a factor to gain an interview and to be expecting an rejection or no rejection, leave u to die notice. I didnt tell the agent im having RT at this time and date, fear of killing my chances, cos the job required shift, which i tink i wont be able to fit inside the schedule unless they allow flexibility for the dates. Now at RT phase 1, with 2 more sessions to ippt, i hav not much confident in passing. This means im goin to phase 2, with 3 days of RT, this definitely KILL my chances if i mention it to my agent or the bank. Y m i so unlucky? Im mad at myself.

2mor goin to call that miss call, hope they wil give me another chance. I had to beg jus for a stupid customer service job at the worst posible far place from my hm at working shifts. I have to admit, im indeed despo, and im in no bargaining position.

PLZ GIVE ME A CHANCE!

Sicko by Micheal Moore (2007)

Recommendation: A must watch, haha..videos i put here, definitely appeal to me, but i rather put documentary which has facts and lessons which can be applicable in our present and future live. Watching documentary, reading biography, listening to others' views, will expand one's mind, absorbing different perspectives and gain experience within that short time w/o having to physically experience it and using more time to learn that mistake or experience.

Description: A documentary comparing the highly profitable American health care industry to other nations, and HMO horror stories.

http://www.megavideo.com/ep_gr.swf?v=6GLO6VSV (Streaming link)

Below plot sypnosis is from http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0386032/synopsis

Moore interviews Americans who have been denied treatment by our health care insurance companies -- companies who sacrifice essential health services in order to maximize profits. The consequences for the individual subscribers range from bankruptcy to the unnecessary deaths of loved ones.

Moore then looks at universal free health care systems in Canada, France, Britain, and Cuba, debunking all the fears (lower quality of care, poorer compensation for doctors, big-government bureaucracy) that have been used to dissuade Americans from establishing such a system here. The roots of those health care systems are explored, and our failure to establish free health here care is traced to a) President Richard Nixon's deceptive support of the then-emerging HMOs pursuing huge profits and b) subsequent pressures for Congress to sacrifice sound health care in favor of corporate profit.

A group of Americans who became ill from volunteering at 911 Ground Zero, but were refused health coverage for their illnesses, are ferried by Moore to Cuba, where they receive the top-rate, free care one would hope they'd get here at home.

In his interviews, historical reportage, and typical sarcastic wit, Moore soundly condemns American health insurance companies and pharmaceutical companies, as well as the politicians who have been paid millions to do their bidding. He makes the case that there is something wrong with Americans that we cannot learn from the successes of other countries in providing better quality-of-health than we enjoy in the USA.

My views: This video increase my awareness on impact of different government health systems, the society system and how it can drastically change the way people behave. It leads me to ponder whether my country system is it similar to America, does our insurance company runs this manner, do our people suffer in silence? Questions are raised upon viewing this documentary. I will have to do my research, if it does, i have to make plans...

Yup Curry Png is right

A friend once ask me "Kiong Wat Is Ur Purpose In Life?"
My reply to him is "I want to life live to the fullest and create an impact in the lives of my friends....Coz someday when im gone B4 anyone of them ...the memories of me will remain in their heart.

Have you ever noticed that the worst way to miss someone is when they are right beside you, and yet you can never understand them.
When the moment you can't feel them under your fingertips you start to miss them
Copyright kk aka curry png



i know u r at a better place, we will meet again, dear friend.

Toughest interview yet to come?

Went to a agency for a call centre job, turn up to be recruiting for a local bank. The location is at bedok, with shifts till as late as 2.30am. At the agency, i was explained the working hours, the pay system, the work...then came the test, a 2hr written test.

If selected, i need to go do a 3 round interview within a day. There will be a typical interview,a field testing such as doing a real customer service to a client, typing the responses in the pc as well as communicating with the client.

Sounds easy? haha..im not sure, but doing 3 rds of interview in a day already sounds tedious to me. Wasnt even sure i can make it to the interview table based on my past experience but im glad given the opportunity by the agent :) Have a feeling this sense of optimism will last me a few days then im back to reality when theres no response.

Another problem if i get hired, i didnt tell my agent abt my RT. Haha..im so deceiving. Looks like i REALLY hav to pass my ippt or else i cant commit to this shifts. Again, wats the odds for me to pass, and the odds for me to get hired. This is a double probability with prob (a) x prob (b) = total prob. Is it independent event, mayb shld be prob (a) + prob (b). Y didn't i tell this to the agent, simply i wont risk killing my chances. i have to pass...regardless i got it or not. Can i..

4 in the morning by gwen stefani

Waking up to find another day
The moon got lost again last night
But now the sun has finally had its say
I guess I feel alright

But it hurts when I think
When I let it sink in
It's all over me
I'm lying here in the dark
I'm watching you sleep, it hurts a lot
& all I know is
You've got to give me everything
Nothing less cause
You know I give you all of me

[CHORUS]
I give you everything that I am
I'm handin' over everything that I've got
Cause I wanna have a really true love
Don't ever wanna have to go & give you up
Stay up till Four In The Morning & the tears are pouring
& I want to make it worth the fight
What have we been doing for all this time?
Baby if we're gonna do it, come on do it right

All I wanted was to know I'm safe
Don't want to lose the love I've found
Remember when you said that you would change
Don't let me down
It's not fair how you are
I can't be complete, can you give me more?
& all I know is
You got to give me everything
& nothing less cause

[4 In The Morning lyrics on http://www.metrolyrics.com]

You know I give you all of me

[CHORUS]
I give you everything that I am
I'm handin' over everything that I've got
Cause I wanna have a really true love
Don't ever wanna have to go & give you up
Stay up till Four In The Morning & the tears are pouring
& I want to make it worth the fight
What have we been doing for all this time?
Baby if we're gonna do it, come on do it right

Oh please, you know what I need
Save all your love up for me
We can't escape the love
Give me everything that you have

& all I know is
You got to give me everything
& nothing less cause
You know I give you all of me

[CHORUS]
I give you everything that I am
I'm handin' over everything that I've got
Cause I wanna have a really true love
Don't ever wanna have to go & give you up
Stay up till Four In The Morning & the tears are pouring
& I want to make it worth the fight
What have we been doing for all this time?
Baby if we're gonna do it, come on do it right

(Give you everything)
(Give you all of me)

Severe self inferiority?

Tink i have this mental disease, disorder. Cant help asking y cant i be as gd as others, y cant i tis, cant i that, cant accomplish this, cant get that.

Y do i strive on being the best? Do i enjoy gaining the praises from ppl who benefitted from my success (what success is there to speak of)? Or is it jus plain self egoism? Will friends, luv ones stick by u if they find some1 better than u in all ways despite what u have done for them? this will be my ans: Relationships, exchanges, arent suppose to be measure by how much time u spend, how much things u do for them, and isnt measure by how much u reciprocate. Its about being there for them when they need yr support the most. This is hard to come by, cos not every1 will be there for u. Most likely they have their own problem, better priorities in life other than being with u. Once the usefullness is gone, ur just a memory, a number in the phonebook, a msn in the chat list, an email in the address, a pixel in a networking database, but not a real place in the heart.

People meet along in the life journey, r they making use of each other to climb further, to purse goals in their self interest, or its simply a accepted norm in our society? People will always crowd ard ppl who succeed in their own way, be it being able to work in a successful company, be it earning big bucks, being one who is beautiful physically as well as intelligent..this explains the existence for underdogs.

Self inferiority...in a optimistic way, it can be term as being humble is it? haha...y not flung it when u have it. Life is short, y grumble so much. Cherish what u have now...this is what kk will say to me perhaps.

Job db fair to go or not?

Unlike the previous job fair which has more education agencies, job db sg fair has a online database abt the participants, the job details such the requirements needed for these positions. It is good cos u can know what jobs r there n go straight to the booth if interested for further enquires or u can simply send online.

After scanning the positions available and the qualifications, think its the same regardless whether is it a job fair or a career talk or an interview...u r still the same, no change in yr capability, yr degree qualifications, nothing has changed..so whats yr chances? Haha...mark the black spots in the toto ticket and send in, try yr luck against the odds?

Going there seems to be a waste of time n money. Its the same. Dont tell me u go there, be there physically, they will feel yr sincere in apply for the work. Again, u got time, so? Can go there to make yr time seem productive because ur there near the company booth, but ur near there doesnt meant ur one of them in the future.

Test Loading my utube channel fav playlist!

woo..it works, still figuring how to put the playlist in the page element at the side for easiler access, and how to adjust the size of the video screen to fit to the blog template.

This collection of video is a customerise links u put as yr playlist as a utuber member. Allows easy viewing of yr favourite video in yr blog :)

what if "reality" is what u percived it to be?

How real is yr percerived reality? Can some1 else in yr same situation factors with all the same variables, turn out to be the same?

What if u can just simply choose to be happy regardless of what happen to u...u can simply change the outlook of the world u look.

Y u choose to be unhappy, unsatisfied? y do u compare to others better than not comparing to others who r worse off? Society benchmarks? Does it matter? If u can choose do be, y dont u? Is it because ur deciving yrself hey im happy although the situation im at shitty? What if ur ill, yr bankcrupt, yr family, lovers, friends, leave u, what if ur burn in a fire, but ur alive in the bed with 80 degree burn, disfigured, amputated, been to jail, kill some1, done a terrible thing to a person living in the Earth, kill an ant which possess the right the live, or indirect action which cause harm to others, killing the Earth, Can u still bluff or pyscho yrself to feel better of the mess u make or situation u worse off than others? Can u?
R u choosing to live in a lie due to being optimistic or self delusion?

In transistion stages, such as moving on from a new stage of life cycle to another, or big decisions, perhaps ppl will have a tendency to lost their directions due to the spolit of choices, their extend of their capability against the general competitors of the same species, and the time they r at making the choices.

Theres no ans to whats real and whats not, cos we r humans...our thoughts and feelings r rule by 2 different organs (although i read some articles some parts of our brain control our feeling or can recall how we shld react to this feeling stimulation). Weird is that we can have a heart transplant, a change of heart, but we cant have a brain transplant, perhaps theres already a brain transplant which i duno off.

Cant help it dealing wit reality

So wat is r u diligent, discipline, or processed Confucius's attitude or "good" working attitude..does it matter? So wat u r graduated, so wat ur gd in wat u doing?
Does the factor of luck plays a part? Is it a excuse to use "hey, no luck" as a excuse for the unexpected results when u have really did what u need to do? Does the eyes of others, or judgement of others upon yr results determine who u really r? Or is it u who think u r wat u r matters? Can 1 be truely independent w/o conforming to society norms and pressures in this modern world? I truely dnt knw what i typing. Perhaps im frustrated since HOPE is like a illusion which will temporary keep u running, but the destination is not u expect to be.

Hope can only last so long...upon that limit, hope will just be nothing. Whats so bloody impt abt geting a job? To work to spend your time on Earth worthwhile? To earn a living to get food on the table? To ease emergencies when the health insurance cant compensate u due to yr neglience in reading the small prints? To amass wealth to support yr "future" goals that is yet to realise? Yr kids education? Yr aging parents? Yr social life? Yr bills? Yr taxes? To a higher degree, the check issue to u determines how much u worth to the society, ur existence of being here at this time, yr value is to sit in the office, processing stuff, admin work, spending 9-5, cramping in the cubicle. After work, rush to the mrt? Is it bcos u wan to save the environment by not taking taxi, by not buying car, or because u dont have the POWER.

Power, in modern times, money is power. Humans have evolve from caveman to modern "civilise" beings, create a society, rule by law which are mend to be broken by those with power. Power has change from brute strength to the information, money, high intellect. These are the new power.

Pursuit of Happyness

Yup..the title of the show isnt wrong, its happyness instead of happiness.

Its a true story. Its about Christopher Gardner, a businessman who purchase his own goods and store the goods in his home, and went ard hospitals to sell his products (hes selling a bone density scanner).

His luck ran out, its hard to sell, he run out of cash, end up being homeless, deserted by his wife (not so sure abt tis), left with his kid, living in churchs, mrt toilets, mrt. He later went for an intership with a brokage with no basic pay and after 6 mths, will he then knw he will be accepted anot..its was a tough time, as his broke, he got a kid, and he need to study for the papers, hit the sales quota, and the managemen giving him problem. Its really tough being him. He later succeed attaining the job and in the later years, he set up his own investment firm and become wealthy.

some quotes that are memorable such as this following (taken from http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0454921/quotes)

Christopher Gardner: It was right then that I started thinking about Thomas Jefferson on the Declaration of Independence and the part about our right to life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness. And I remember thinking how did he know to put the pursuit part in there? That maybe happiness is something that we can only pursue and maybe we can actually never have it. No matter what. How did he know that?

Christopher Gardner: You got a dream... You gotta protect it. People can't do somethin' themselves, they wanna tell you you can't do it. If you want somethin', go get it. Period.

Now im having this goal, of being able just to set off in a position in the financial industry...i do not wish to give up till i try whether im suitable for this work in this sector. Comparing the pitfalls bet Christ and me, haha...i seem so weak...afther viewing the show, seems to give me some hope.

heres the streaming version http://www.megavideo.com/?v=HVE2FDE1 , haha watch it soon since its still available if ur interested.

Facebook

Face book is fun..much better than friendster...its more than connecting ppl u knw, it abt getting to knw them better thru programs, application, knwing their likes and dislikes, their choices of preference, sending gifts, communicating with them, despite ur not with them physically.

currently playing ard with pirates (getting bored, but luv te thought of having a crew sailing ard the world, exploring treasures and fighting opponents. also the Flirting program..haha...ya rite..u tink im sicko rite..actualy its jus sending messages to ppl "jus for fun", "im yr future ex", harmeless quotes...there r definitely some nice babes there..but who knws those photos are fake, anyway, jus someting to divert. Y engross in a pixel when theres a low chance of meeting them physically? Well..fear of rejection, fear of not being the real u, its always easy to hide behind a pixel.

Recently watch a old anime call "his and her story", there is this line" if i am to be hurt by some1, i rather that person to be u"

Thus acceptance of rejection, can be seen in a optimistic manner. Back to reading my book, neglect for some time due to face book....wake up man...wake up

Changing job for my mum

My mum has been working hard and complaining abt her colleges, her sup abt poor working attitude and bias, unfair work allocation...blah blah...this is wat happen when the worker dont hav the power of bargaining as u r easily replace by any ah gao, ah mao in the street.

Accompany her, at age over 55, to look for a job, and finally, she got 1...YA...finaly out of that hell place...Hope those her colleges will miss the her when shes off to a better working environment. Let them suffer...haHAHAHAH

losing in the test of patience

yipeee...still searching for job. just send in 2 applications...

Went for a interview earlier this week, now still waiting for confirmation for a 2nd interview if i make it thru. Thus if by next tue i dnt get any reply, haha...CONGRATS, U R OUT!!! Hope at least they call me to reject me...

y? Y some ppl can get job in their first try, while others need wait so long. Y some..the list can goes on. Life is suppose to be random, abt chance..

Hazi, 1 of m fren tell he got a fren who has been jobless for 7 mths, and he just found work in Credit Sussis (tis is 1 sem b4 me), geting 4k pay, including allowance. He also bump into another friend, now working in Stand Chart (tis is grad same time as me) Hazi..gd for them loh...

Gd news is thats theres a career fair by job db sg in suntec..haha...based on my experience of send abt nearly 60 - 80 plus resumes within a span of 2.5mth period, i tink tis career fair is just like visiting its website, only im not viewing the job opportunities online, but viewing them physically. so makes no diff in the probability they hiring u.

Purpose of new year?

New year marks the finish of 1 complete revolution of the earth around the sun. Does it meant anything more? Y people celebrate? Whats the main underlying reasons among the main population?

For the working class, perhaps, its worth celebrating because of the holiday, new year and new year eve. It can also be for the bonuses, for the partying. Who knows?

For the businesses, it meant more holiday sales, the closure of the accounting books (varies according since theres also the financial year).

For the media, to sum up all the ups and downs of the year, boardcasting all the fireworks around the world, telling the world how good is the last year was. Congratuations!!! Come on...

For the family, it doesnt not take the new year, or even festivals to do something nice to each other, it should be a everyday thing, not just a one time event...i do feel these festivals now hold little meaning to me that is...

Another question: Did the earth complete its revolution around the sun in 365 days or did it not? Did the expansion of the universe, the collapsing of stars, the gapping black holes, the super novas change any variables that affect the gravationation force that maintain this revolution?