Love is overratted

or i can say, love is overrated when u found it in the wrong person.

Many times friends advise its wrong, it cant be right in that person.

Time to end and quit

Santa claus

I dont believe in Santa claus...even as a kid

When ppl grow up, do they still believe in Santa Claus?

Movies kept on replaying the theme of Santa, preparing gifts with his elves at the north pole...in my perspective, a lie which adults choose to deceive themselves and even their kids to anticipate gifts.

This can be said to the act of believing the idea that there is a supreme being.

Emptiness

No dream, no purpose, no ambition. A lost of direction.

A standard routine of living life so I can get on with the next day to get my paycheck.

What is happiness?

I'm tired of living as i can't find purpose to proPel me to live my life.

Kk, is a strong guy. Advin is getting married. Wish him all e best.

2nd ops

Just when my surgical wounds is almost heal, i have to go for another ops to remove the screws in my leg. Need to endure the process of getting the stitches removed, waiting for the wound to heal, before i can start physio.

Going to take at least another month i guess. Tired and strained. Deprived my freedom. Almost sick and tired of my life.

Sitting down or lying on the bed too long makes me feel like a zombie. Going to work is a time killer, but having to endure not going for a normal lunch break dulls my senses...almost glued to the chain for almost 10 hours straight.

It really change my life.

1st week

Manage to get a regular cab driver to ferry me to work every morning. Expensive. Adds up to about 40plus with ERP charges. If i go work early, i can save up to bucks itself, due to the traffic conditions and erp. It pays to go to work early.

Colleagues are ok, generally nice. Just realize yesterday i got this role as they are moving functions out from Australia to Singapore. People will be fired and i got the role of replacing them. Its remind me of the book "Who move my cheese"

Its a large company but very nimble, as it consolidates all its main function under one system. As a employee, i can try out "multiple" roles by using the other functions, this is a potentially learning jump board for one to move anywhere in this place, as one is expose to all functions.

My work still seem simple. Not as difficult as my previous employment. But i have yet to fully hands on doing the task. So far, its pretty straight forward, just a matter of time on getting use to it.

23th july to 4th Sept

Got into accident around 23th Sept, going back to the work force tomorrow.

That is about a month away from civilization interaction.

Had been wasting my time away. Grow fat, play wow, on and off looking at share prices but lost money.

Mentally and physically, i feel I'm not capable to go back to work. But i need to bring in money right? Cant depend on my parent...a parent to put food on the table, and my transport and medical bills to pay...with no assurance that my claims will be successful.

Didn't expect life after the accident to change so drastically. Feel like a old uncle. The only reason to live, is to help my family ease the financial burden, that's the only thing i can do, despite being uncomfortable.

This yr suppose to be a very good year for me, a year for the people who born under the year of dog. Ya...got retrench last year, bounced back to work within a month, a contract job which i don't like, but i endure and found a better job which is financially attractive...and that's all to it. Its all about the $, no passive whatso ever.

But the accident came, took away my "freedom", my way of life. My clock in life seem to reset. I have come clean with the woman who accompany me during this time. I can't give her what she wanted...and I'm in this state, trust cant be maintained...its seem to be for the better.

Friends seems clearer, who are the ones who really care, and who don't. But the world don't revolved around you. So i should stop becoming so petty.

This will be my toughest challenge in my life...going back to work in clutches, enduring the new environment with a handicap, a difficult task of defering my in camp training which has no results yet and a 2nd operation.

I have started praying to the deity in my house which i stopped since i'm in secondary school. I need some luck, to have a better fortune in my route ahead.

Accident that came

A sec later or earlier, will change my life.

I may end up in the coffin or i may end up going to work normally.

Been doing nothing for almost a week, just basic survival skills like eating, sleeping.

When im old, and there is no one to take care of me, what will happen?

Am i goin to stay at home whole day and rot? What can i do to make myself better off?

Relationship has become stale due to this accident. She has been good. I cant be expecting more, as i cant give her more.

6th day of waiting

Keeping tab of time before I lose hope

2nd class citizen in my own tuff

A contractor in a firm, surrounded by foreign talent.

Feel like I'm working overseas rather than in my own country.

I'm merely a substitute to help them do mundane work.

A underdog is always a underdog. U can only view the plums and only imagine how good it will taste. Some people have it, some dont, but what i cant accept is why is it not our own ppl enjoying these benefits but some others else where who dont belong here.

The push is greater than the pull factor. I have tolerate long enough and become silent of this mental torture...

My suffering will have to be extended...it takes really some motivation to carry on...some hope...that one day i will find a better place.

So close yet so far

There is a chance I'm not selected despite good feedback and went thru all of the interviews.

There r many other factors in play when a job is offer. 48 hrs has passed.

I have to stop waiting and move on.

Waiting for answer

Having to go to work, hearing foreign languages spoken around me...getting sick of it.

I really have enough...Plz end my wait earlier....Almost reaching my limit.

Expectations

Nervous. Not About the interview, but the compensation package.

1st time at a firm, which is a leader of it's league, I have high expectation on what they will offer.

But being realistic...I have to consider the possibilities that it may not be as attractive as I thought.

A role that will propel me to even greater heights in career advancement, a day job, a perm role, a leader of it's field, will I still say no?

I want the best of both worlds. I want to succeed. Plz give me good news later.

Offer interview

Make it thru the 2nd round. Unbelievble. I have imagine for days since the 1st interview whether I make it thru to the offer stage.

Plz make the offer unresistable that I don't even have to consider about it.

I can already imagine breaking the news to my current employer. They must be shock that I will leave despite the extension of my contract.

Plz break my income barrier goal...go back to normal day work.

Please give me the chance

A precious chance to enter a top tier management house. Went interview 2 days ago, there will be 2 more interviews if i make it through this round.

Feedback has been good but my experience is the least among all other candidates.

If i can hop to this firm, my career path will be of a definite path of potential upscale of wages and benefits.

Hope i get the good news today.

Juding

My work will be judge in nus this coming sat. Kinda keen to view my own works..haha..like my own exhibition....

Hope i can win something...tat will make my day and a boost to my portfolio.

Courses

Having a studio shoot session and a wedding course session soon.

Feeling exciting to embark in a journey i wish to take.

Hope it will divert my attention and energy to my goals and less of her.

Vice

Being a good man in a bad place is still a bad man.

Although i seem to been burning my pocket, it seems i'm still willingly.

Whats real, whats fake, whats lies, whats truth, doesn't matter in that room.

When should i put it to a stop...i guess the deadline will be till her bday.

A show, a dinner, a gift and a sweet goodbye.

She has been a great company, a treatment for my lost of another friend.

Poison medicine

Having someone in the arms helps me forgot someone I have lost.

I have miss her lesser. Is it time or is it the black swan?

Poison is medicine

A poison pill is a medicine. Knowing it will do me no good in the long run, it helps me overcome the current poison I have.

Real and fake is define

by your outlook of your world around you.

Lies and truth are words perceived by what u think it would be.

Is it important to know whats true and genuine as long no one get hurt?

Life can never be perfect, perfect according to your own standards which is flawed by another person's standard.

Compromise is what make us human, what make us love each other whom we are. That's what I'm looking for.

Not a mask, not a feel, but a understanding, a respect, which feel weirdly justified in a place where the black swan baths and the toads came by, watching the swan peddle silently under the moonlight...

A toad and the ugly duckling

If the toad doesn't lust for the swan, but instead of the ugly duckling, will the ending be any different?

Both probably can complement each other by their insecurities in life, but it will only be a momentarily meeting of the hearts. The duckling will soon fly off as a swan, be it a black or white swan, its still different from a toad who have no future with it.

Its fate that may have bought those 2 together, but its just only for that exchange and temporary comfort, so both will move on with each other individual life.

A toad is always a toad

The tale of the Princess and the Frog is only admired by the Toad who lust for the Swan.

How can a princess ever love a frog and how possibly a toad can be together with the swan, its just not possible, but one did it in their fairy tale dream.

No matter where the toad goes, be it, a smaller pond, a bigger lake, or just a sewer, it will always be a toad no matter what it thinks itself to be.

Spare tyre

Being with another woman really can help forget some emotional issues for a while.

For once I can give in to my emotional needs, it's like a therophy.

But like all therophy...u can't form rs w the doctor n client. It's forbidden.

I dont miss her at all...but just for 1 day. The medicine can only last 1 day.

I want a cure for the long term..and not a temporary relief that can numb the pain.

Best works

The best photos can only be created thru thinking abt u

What is she doing now

What is she doing now?
I'm very keen to know
Is she partying with her friends
Is she having supper with her date
Did she caught latest movie?
Is she doing well @ work?
Is she happy?

I know she will be fine without me
I'm not important in her life nor anyone else

But why I still thinking about her?
She is the best thing that has happen in my life
That is why I still can't forget.

Whys

Why wait when you guess it won't happen
Why hope when you already know the answer
Why persist when you know you can't do much
Why love when you expect nothing in return
Why are you so foolish as no one is going to care
Why bother when you know things are not going to happen
Why ask when you are not going to get an answer
Why you question yourself when you know you can't accept the truth

Why why why
Is why really that important to justify your actions
There isn't why you need reasons to do what you want to do
As some decisions are made using your heart and not your mind
Why's don't work in the affairs of the heart

So just accept it.

Killing time

Kill time is a wasteful thing to do
Lost time can't be returned
What matters most is how u use Yr time
Time is meant to spend it in a way most meaningful to you
And what will that be?

Chasing money?
Chasing for power?
Chasing for love?

Time is the most important resource we have
I wish I can use time more efficiently as I can
But my discipline and drive is weak
As my purpose in life is blurred with no one in mind

To spend quality time with someone special
Is what I seek most
But the other may not consider spending time with you is worthwhile

Time is priceless
But we often exchange that for a price
When we work
When we wait
When we spend it with other people

Time is all we have...
And will be most treasured
When you know your time is up

Reflecting on what you do with all your time
And think what you have make most of your time
Will that be a happy thought to leave this place
To another world where time stand still

I wish if time is to stop for me
I just want to be with the people I love
The person I love
Thats all to life, to give love and be love is the best thing can happen

I wish all couples happiness till end of time
I wish she Will eventually find her happiness

increase expendiation

Just realize my overall expenditure increase, most probably is due to my taxi travels, weekend transport, hobby...gotten to cut down..in terms of food.

Not sure what else i can cut down to reduce cost.

Dnt even have a gf, already bleeding so much...haha...single life is good

The chase for $

My line manager have a 1 2 1 talk with me today.

It was a casual talk. He going to get married next month, going to india for about a month.

Talk about girls, relationships.

He has a 11 yrs of experience, and say he decided to take on a role of a manager but with lesser pay, due to the profile. This profile enables him to grab on better opportunities, to alleviate to the top of the corporate ladder, rather than just the chase of the $.

This is advice to me. I wasnt given the answer whether i was renew anot. Regardless the case, i just carry on my job search.

A dream

A dream I have last night

She was having a ice-cream cone, looks vanilla. There was another guy beside her.
I was there as well. But I wasn't sure if I was notice
Or jus invisible.

She was playing with him, offering the ice cream, end up poking the ice cream into his nose.
His face is blurred, but can see some glimpe of detail. He is mature, looks financially stable, taller, handsome looks.

The guy look back @ her, his eyes tell her, ur so childish, but I like it. They are in love. She smile. She is really happy.

I wasn't jealous, I feel happy. No sightless feel of envy. I'm really happy for her.

I woke up. Still thinking about her.

No $

$ is power. $ is everything. No $ no talk.

This is life as I c it. Sad isn't it. This is the truth of my life @ age 29.

Stranger's advice

She tell me it take 2 hand to clap, rs cant be solved.

Having knowing her for just a few weeks, some long email exchanges, her email strike my heart, it takes a stranger's advice to wake me up.

Staying out of social circle network for a while, keeping my distance, anyway, she wont care also..haha....i respect this friendship.

Love marco lens

Went to rent the lens for sun again. Plan to buy a diffuser.

Saw a couple of utube macro techniques, now i understand why marco is hard in terms of managing the DOF, aperture, iso, shutter, together, to get a nice shot.

Hope it will be good. More than 80percent will be buying one for good.

Will be going to all parts of nature, capture insects, flowers, the life of the micro world...a wide derivation from the pictures i took normally. Guess i need some variety in my shoots as well.

GCP

GCP is a hardware zone acronym. Simply means, girls who are materialistic.

I came across a thread, about this guy married woman of his dream, a 5 yrs rs, but now marriage is on the rocks, because of different expectations, when they seems to decide to go with it, with a child.

It kinda reflect that in this world, girls will definitely look for a man who can provide them with a better lifestyle, some, want to be tai tais, then they need to look for rich partners. Each has their own targets. But when, things change, lifestyle deteriorate, will the marriage still survive based on love? Time will be the test, things will work out only if both want to make it work.

The more $, u have, the more comfortable u will be. $ talks. Period. And again, love, will always be secondary.

Reflecting on myself, yup, i fall into the gcp trap. I knew she was expecting someone earning more than her, her ex, minimum is easily 10k over per annum, drives at least a sport car, gave her luxury bags. I'm not handsome, not tall, not rich. There is no way our expectation will have met. Reading this thread, does make me feel fortunate, that she rejected me, cos knowing it will not last. I'm not within her minimum standards and we will not be happy.

http://forums.hardwarezone.com.sg/showthread.php?t=3155373

http://singaporeseen.stomp.com.sg/stomp/sgseen/stomp_love_story_2011/533700/love_story_many_guys_were_after_her_but_only_i_captured_her.html

IPT

Decided to go for a try for this ipt session, allows flexibility to cater to my shift schedule.

The only con is that i dont have make up pay. The pros, i wont have to worry not going for the compulsory rt after failing my ippt.

Time is all i care. Got to burn at least 8 Saturdays, that will be 2 months.

Surprise finding

Went out with my macro lens to a nearby area to search for some close up shots.
Never expect to find a family of monkeys staying near by.
Go a few good shots. Marco is really good for portrait. Thus it can be a money saver if u thinking of buying a portrait lens, why not buy a macro instead.
Cannon 100mm L USM Marco

Your camera doesn't matter

Photographers make photos, not cameras.

The camera's only job is to get out of the way of making photographs.

Your equipment DOES NOT affect the quality of your image. The less time and effort you spend worrying about your equipment the more time and effort you can spend creating great images. The right equipment just makes it easier, faster or more convenient for you to get the results you need.

Maybe because it's entirely an artist's eye, patience and skill that makes an image and not his tools

Quote: http://www.kenrockwell.com/tech/notcamera.htm

Trying very hard

Trying very hard to forget u

Still a piece of me still want to hold on to u
I want to delete your messages, your emails
But a piece of me want to keep it
To remember it is real

I kept myself busy
Willingly and unwillingly
Only to find myself
Missing u more

I went to look for other girls
But to see u instead of her

To be frank...
I don't want to forget you
But it bring me pain
A pain that is the only evidence
That my love for u is real

If I forget you
It will mean none of this is real
But just a dream and nothing more.

I wish i knw why

I wish I knw why

U treat others better than me
Am I too hard to please
Or it's just me building walls around me

Are the past just good memories
The present doesn't seem what it used to be
What did I done wrong
That deserve this

I don't blame u for Yr reactions
But I can't help feeling lost to Yr inaction

Where r u now

Where r u now

U won't tell me
I can only hope ur not in someone else's arm
But that is so selfish of me

I can only be there when she needs me
N there is all to it
Why bother thinking abt her
When she doesnt have u in her dream

What is love, Plz tell me
Is it real or is it just a myth
It seems the more I search for it
This "love" seems to disappear from me

Perhaps I should stop looking for it
As love will never come to me
All I can pray is she is happy n be loved
Painful this feeling it can be,
I dont have any choice
But to wish her happiness without me

Weekends r hard to pass by

Been Vy tired, kept myself bz

But still after the event is over, I can't help feeling empty.

I really wanted her by my side but she will never be there.

I try to be better, but it seems like its just a impossible dream.

If I did. Will things b different?

Settling down?

If u have high expectation frm yr partner, make sure u yourself have high expectation of yourself.

Personally, i feel, the woman here are highly educated, and are capable of higher earning power. They, or even me, will choose to settle down with one who can provide better quality of life, having a car, having their own house, income of at least more than 5k minimum (my own view of comfortable living), and of cos, with the essentials, to be humorous, caring..blah blah blah, which most guys have.

Love is overrated. Anyone can provide u love...if they want to, and if you allow them. $, takes capability. It seems society uses $ as a measure of self worth.

This is my view of life. Saddening, but seems to be truth. No $, no talk.

Loving someone

Found this in a thread in HWZ

Almost lost

Almost lost in pursuit my dreams..which often never come true.

Distractions and problems @ work, past emotional baggage, dragged my energy to a low point in life...

Have to remind myself im living my own life, no one is going to bother whether u will become what, only you have to decide for your self based on actions u do today.

By next week, photo editing will be completed, by next month, 19th April, website will be accomplished. Im not sure if its realistic, at least time is make up.

No point worrying what will happen to my career, doing my very best in work, sending resumes, looking out...choices will be better when u make them often.

Sat is almost over. Sun is near. Hope my spirit will be better 2mor and some traction on my project will start tonight.

Worker loyalty

Mar 19, 2011
Fukushima 50 - lessons in worker loyalty

THE extraordinary courage of the Fukushima 50 - the Japanese engineers and technicians battling to contain the nuclear fallout from reactors damaged in the earthquake and tsunami - offers lessons to Singaporeans.

One important factor behind the dedication of these workers is Japan's collectivistic corporate culture that values loyalty and ensures long-term employment security. This is in contrast to the American model, which is characterised by individualism and short-term profitability.

These values are reflected in the salaries of senior executives: CEOs in Japan are rewarded far less than their counterparts in the United States and Europe.

While the Japanese corporate culture has often been criticised for breeding conservatism and inertia, and for rewarding riskaverse senior management, it has also fostered an exceptional sense of team spirit and commitment that transcends short-term gains. This sense of esprit de corps is evident among the Fukushima 50 workers, and it is through them that the best of Japan Inc is being shown in these harrowing times.

Singapore Inc has been moving towards the US model with its emphasis on rewarding 'top talent' generously. Over the years, we have been seeing increasingly disproportionate levels of remuneration for senior executives in contrast to workers down the line who have to face the prospects of redundancy and wage reduction in tough times.

Also, given the ease of replacing local staff with foreign labour, Singapore Inc risks being turned into a mercenary, alien and transient space peopled by workers with little sense of belonging, loyalty and commitment that is found in the Japanese worker.

Liew Kai Khiun

Quote: http://singaporemind.blogspot.com/2011/03/fukushima-50-lessons-in-worker-loyalty.html

Read this in HWZ forum, its describe closely to what i feel right now. Currently working with a group of india indians, full timers, while i am working as a contractor on a 6 mth basis. Its difficult to be the minority, feeling alienated. All i care was to finish my overloaded task and going home on time.

Its a tough time for me...having no relevant experience in this new role, its like starting from scratch. I feel like quiting, I couldn't stand the smell of their natural perfumes, I couldn't take the nonsense of my immature bossy boss...its bad coupled with the overwhelming work which i will almost definitely do OT everyday..without claiming OT....

According to a senior who work for 10yrs in operations, she say, "its the same everywhere u go" strikes a reality to me...if i am to purse this line, i have to get use to it...

I can, but my colleagues n boss are bad enough...its tough...hope there will be some hope for me in my career path.

I feel no loyalty to this company, just a contract, with benefits given to the foreigners, higher pay. if i have better opportunity, i will leave without looking back.

Property agent

Another viable choice for becoming another income stream.

Rather than dumping another 2k into CFA, i rather spend lesser on taking a license which see potential upside returns.

http://realtorwannabe.com/how-to-become-a-property-agent-in-singapore

"An income from a job is your security as long as you are relevant to the company paying you. However, your relevancy is not part of their corporate strategy"

"To know today is to start believing you will and can succeed with labor and hardwork. Act on those beliefs by working your guts out and remained faithful to those beliefs. All promises are made by you and keeping them leads you to the path of success. The fruits of success is yours and yours only"

Quote: http://realtorwannabe.com/how-to-become-a-property-agent-in-singapore/so-whats-your-worry

After reading the entries, its kinda real that there are pros n cons..when money is involved. Another alternative is real estate photography...which i happen to see a opportunity.

We r jus acquaintances

is what she always say.

Now it seems this way, at least, i being to react this way.

There's no point writing to a person who doesn't reply.

N writes to you when she needs you.

I understand. Things are clearer now.

I was sad...but now...I think its better this way, if this is what she want.

Much awaited interview

Went for it, try it, got it?

Chances i feel are quite low, less than 50 percent.

It seems this job is the one for me...but got to look out for others...

the only motivational way for me to go work is to now i have other better places to go to.

Confidence is all about

Real confidence comes from knowing and accepting yourself - your strengths and limitations - in contrast to depending on affirmation from others."

Quote: http://www.singleshelp.org/1intro.html

A old calling

From a agent, who contact me last dec, on a job i wanted very much.

He told me, this time, i can get interview, cos hiring freeze is over...

He gave me much hopes, and took them away..now he is back...

Hope this time round is real, i really wanted the pay jump and perm role...

Seriously, i already grew sick of this work...

The only clicks i have are in the morning shifts, the work often need to do overtime, and i wont get compensated, the line manager is so amateur...and is a contract..w no benefits...the only motivation i have, is to leave work on time...

and on the cab..to feel lonely...wondering abt my cs colleagues.

We are less than colleagues, less than frens, less than acquaintances...we r just strangers who knew each other...in a way.

First photo grp shoot of my new coy

One of my colleague is having his last day today.

I happen to rent my lens today, so think, i have a grp photo of him with the rest of the gang.

Just took a couple of shots, and tats all...haha..but it was kinda "high", cos this grp seems pretty close yet individualist, meaning they work well with each other, but i dont see them hanging out together.

Im not close to all of them also, but just feel, i wont be bothered whether is close anot....just follow my heart, attain what i want...

Looking back @ the photos, they seem happy..expect for a few bah...duno them well, but i feel is fake smile one..haha...mayb im wrong...

Still got a long way to go, to have the "camera man" feel to bring the crowd willingness to be photo, to bring their happiest smile on their face for the 1 press of the trigger button.

The red ring

Finally got my hands on the Red ring, L USM lens, but its not mine, just rent it over the weekend to test with the 17-55mm.

It seems with a couple of shots, still, 17-55m feels better than the L lens on the crop body. Theres a saying, Mian Qiang Mei You Xin Fu...tis is true...

The guy who serve me is experienced with camera, ask him on the difference bet 70-200 IS w non IS, and gave me example on the shuttle speed individual using to differential on whether u need the IS anot. For moving object, IS doesnt help. For low light, with a higher iso will help, IS doesnt really factor in much alot...it gave me a different light on IS usage.

For L lens, its better with FF, he recommend 5D M2, n normally ppl rent them, the 2nd pair of camera, he was like kinda shock i was thinking of buying one. HAha...too rich...no, i not rich...i just want to make myself achieve something i think its too far for me to attain.

Knowing someone new a month

Made a promise with Kel, to know a gal a month, during our batam trip last year.

Wasn't really serious about it, cos i didn't really try hard, n i have L as a target.

Jus last week, my casting of net, fail miserably, no one replies as usual..haha.

But then, i decide to use a different approach, it turns out, i know 2 new gals, N and I out of the 14 email i send out.

Not sure how things will go, but will carry on casting net...jus afraid i cant cope with the volume of email im getting doing that...

Im just interested to make more gal friends, to know more great different unique personalities, to know more about the female psyche...if we can connect mentally, i guess, time will tell whether we are suitable to meet face to face.

HAHA...no more shallow Hal...but then, wait i see the person, mayb im really one.

Well, im not out to cheat ppl, jus want to make internet dating more successful for single sincere guys out there...cos gals are simply guarded.

Goals for this week

Finish editing of My first wedding series, remake a dvd cd with colleagues and a thank you card to the couple for their baby first shower.

Getting my lens, 17-55 or 24-70mm before Sunday, to photo baby portraits. This means learning techniques for baby shots, dedicating 30mins a day or more if necessary to learn.

Reading 20-30 pgs of final theory, covering 1 time of the book before the text next week.

Long term goal

Command 3k at least per wedding shoot per month, increasing annual income by double, covering over head n lens cost, budget 6k.

Pass final theory, car will have to wait...till i get my business profit hitting 100k.

Im declaring these so i will accomplish them. A man's word is worth tons. I will not break my own promise.

Photography as a career

I read that money comes when u follow yr passion.

Hope this theory is right for me.

I only like photography, taking moments, strangers, capturing that emotion i want for the views to see or feel. That was 2 yrs ago, when i got my dslr.

When i met L, its a different thing, photography is about capturing the one you love. U wan to present the most beautiful side of her, the emotions, the happy moments. Its about expression. Protraits are the hardest especially you are taking the one you love the most as it never feel perfect. As every moment seems so perfect.

I have tried wedding photography once, but it was kinda amature, i did my best with my equipment...but now, im on a new level. Armed with more mature knowledge, going to get 17-55 and 70-200mm, 85mm 1.2f lens, and another wide range on my list to have...

Im going to be a wedding photographer....i cant find love, but i hope my pictures can capture your most important moments in both of your lifes, your true love, in this celebrated ceremony, of man and wife.

Goals are dreams with deadline, and realistic deadlines and plans.

Now is already Mar. 1 lens per month, shld be within my budget, I will consider rental for fish eye and wide lens. that leave me with purchase with 2 lens...and other accerories perhaps..budget wise, i can afford it.

Skills, i need training in studio photography, flash lights.

Video making, photo montage...are all essential skills, work flow, practising make perfect.

Marketing, establishing a website..one of the most important mile stone of my progress...i have gotten back my 1st wedding cd i make for a couple...going to remake them with effects, CS5, wedding photography effects and gave them back, asking for permission to advertise on my website...a flash one, with romantic music.

It seems alot...i need video grapher (outsource), 2nd camera (FF), assistant, meeting clients, undestanding what they want, getting to know them, is important to get the feeling right.

Sourcing of locations is one of the list to do as well.

Its quite alot, to earn a market rate of perhaps less than my salary for a deal. But its always hardest the first step...

One thing i learn, Im going to announce, that by year end, realistically, im going to do another wedding photoshoot. Im going to make it happen.

Self worth

She is going on dates now, she always do...

Sometimes i cant help feeling worthless that she doesnt like me, now dont even care about me...as a friend.

But i have let go, tell myself, hope this guy will be good to her, and she will not get hurt..then its all tat matters...

Its tough...its been 2 months...I still feel hurt..knwing this news...but i have to move on...whether will i have to chance to find this mystic feeling of love, i not sure what is tat anymore...all i know im dont tink im worthly of it...im just like a window shopper, i can only look at it, i cant afford to buy it...i can go into the shop, to test it, tried it, but never have the capability to own it.

Goodwood high tea walk abt

Wedding reception table @ 1900. I was thinking if whether I have the capability to capture this one of these important moments as a professional.

Goodwood high tea

Goof, my pal for 20 plus yrs, brought me to Goodwood for high tea. He got vouchers for "volunteering" in his company event for photo shoot. I have to say...this is best, to be rewarded for your passion.

Brought my 50mm 1.8 lens for testing. The service and food is above average, the service i have to say, is not above average, is quite excellent in fact. There was a lip stick on goof's cup, which we got it change.

There is also a durian puff cafe beside the cafe we are having the high tea. The view is better, with the swimming pool, lounge, a outdoor like atmosphere with air conditioning and gals chatting around the glass tables w their cakes and coffee...cute gals.

Oragami Hello Kitty w Beary

I didnt took pictures for making of beary...so i decide to take pictures of Hello Kitty...which im quite impress with my self.

I wasnt able to wrap this paper gift..so as usual, i make the trip to Paper Mart @ raffles for them to help me wrap it. The moment i took out this Kitty, the gals, the staff...were like "So Cute!!!"

I was thinking, great..means she will like it. The "AWww" was of a great scale compare to the time to bring beary for wrapping. Beary is a pet name i called for the blue paper oragami, which is suppose to be a bear...haha.

3d oragami Hello Kitty

A gal friend's birthday was coming..and she was my listening ear, my eyes, during this period of time when i was sort of depressed.

She is a nice gal, w a caring boyfriend. She is much loved as well. Im glad to know her before i left my previous company.

After reading adam khoo's ebook, i was decide to put his advise into test..that is use the word "must" to finish this gift. It was a tuesday night and by friday i have to finish it. And im working shift. So time is limited, and I havnt make this Hello Kitty model before. However, i told myself...if i want to do it, i do it good. Having made the bear model for Valentine's day, which i end up didnt gave to the one i love, this experience enable me to finish this Hello kitty to a great extend.

Weekends

Weekends r ofthen quite hard to pass by.

Cos if I'm nt bz abt work...I will begin to think of the gd times

Wondering hw is she doing...asking myself do I still like her

Nxt week there may be a chance to meet her...

But I not sure if I want to see her.

Jus want to be invisible...knowing she is doing well.

It's enough for me.

Change life

Just Change Your Life If You Hate It So Much…” So They Say.

But In Truth & Reality – To CHANGE Your Life…

You MUST Change The Perception of Life Itself FIRST...!

http://thefraternity-oak.blogspot.com/2010/02/change-your-life.html

Lens n budget

Been actively checking prices and reading on various lens, and checking other photoshoot and videos, it seems it boils down on what u intend to use for.

For leisure usage, i will definitely want a macro lens and a wide angle lens.

For business usage, a F-stop of less or equal 2.8 is the minimum, qn is what range.

Using a crop body, 17-55mm with 2.8 seems to be the technically right choice.

But in terms of lens, glass, and range, a additional of 24-70mm L lens seems to gd to let go with a top up of about 600 bucks more.

Having tested both n looking at the review, 17-55 is the clear winner...but my heart just cant stop resisting the L red ring temptation.

Going to decide when my pay check comes in...the determining factor will be, what is the range i often use...17-55 or 24-70.

Bucket list

A list you create before u kick the bucket.

Just watch this movie, its touching in a way..on knowing when is your end of days, and working to accomplish so many things, but guess most importantly...this may be the 2 qns u ask yrself before leaving

Movie quotes

Have you found joy in your life?

Has your life brought joy to others?

Casting the net

not in the real world, but in the internet world, where opposite sex meet to look for friends, partners.

Send out 7 emails, lucky 7...hope at least one reply.

Not into anything serious, jus wan to find someone to chat.

L isnt there for me anymore...things change.

Moving to a new team

in about a weeks time. Going to work in the noon.

I will miss the 6pm sunset. Not sure how im going to spend my time well during the day.

Its goin to be tough..other than jus zzz.

More money...but feel im already sick of this job...

Photography n photoshop

Spending time looking for places to shoot and off work, figuring out the different effects one can work with photoshop.

Keeps me busy...but kinda lonely as well..cos its a solo event.

Tried my first step into stock photography, learn alot about the dos and donts. Expanding yr view on how to explore the different perspective one can have on a simple item.

I only have less than 5 so far, out of my hundreds overshoot which fits the requirement of a stock photography...and i think it takes forever for the company to actually approve my photos and someone to even buy it. But its a good exposure.

Looking for a new lens as well, 17-55mm, the price range about 1500. Just gotten my flash gun @ 472. Feels more complete when doing portrait or when there is indoor lighting.

Learn about white balance, colour balance, sharpening, blur, lens flare, noise reduction..blah blah...but none is still as good as creating effects for wedding photos...a trade secret...

Spend time looking @ great wedding pictures, how cs5 turn them from normal looking to a emotional, dramatic ones. Knowing yr tools, is almost 75 percent going to make a badly taken shot to a good shot w effects.

Mixed reactions

but mostly directed to one thing. Trying to recover a lost friend.

It seems like she care, but she doesnt. Duno what to make out of her actions anymore.

Guess, she is a monster.

If she likes u, it doesn't matter how u confess

Met her for dim sum. Later ask her to walk to marina bay front.

The weather isn't too hot. It was raining just a few hrs ago.

We walked, closer n closer to the office.

I ask her to stop, took out the flowers, a first I bought for a gal.

She was shock. More shock than the bday surprise.

She immediately ask I like her? She went histerical. But she was smiling. Happy.

I sort of looking forward for her to rej me. Cos I knw I like her but I can't maintain the rs.

For me, it's too stop this headache, this constant thinking about her in my mind. I sink myself too deep.

But she is by far, the best gal I know. Beautiful in the outside n inside.

She told me she will be a monster if we r together. I believe. I'm ain't ready.

Gave everything, done almost everything my heart want to do.

I can rest now.

Lunch date!

Yipi! Coming next week w her.

I ask one, to see her. Cos once i work, the hours will be hard to meet. N she say Yes!

Haha...cant say its a date, just a meet up. But im so thrilled!

Time to get ready.

Photography

is a magic that freeze time

Got a new job, but still something is amiss

I'm still not going to see her.

The attachment is not strong as before, but you will know some things which you cant get, you will miss it.

She is not a thing, she is a want for me.

She is happy now. I cannot forget my goals, that is to build a another source of income, other than my work source.

I must remember that

She was beautiful

On sat. Wearing a white tube top w a colorful red orange dress. She look beautiful.

Don't dare to check fb...I be reminded of old memories and worry I will check her status.

It doesnt make a difference. Perhaps nw someone is driving her home, supper or other stuff.

She will be happy. Tats all it matters rite. The one u luv happy but just isn't with u.

The one that can Bri her happiness just isn't u, that's all. Accept it.

Blogshop

Blog shop has been around since blogging has been made popular, and easier to sell items without listing in ebay or other popular auction website.

But you will need to make your site looks good and easy to search and doing a mass selling to keep the appeal.

Whats yr market, niche, etc.

Sounds interesting to a jobless man like me. Time to venture into stage 2 of brain storming.

What should i sell? Inventory, target, price, cost, marketing, etc.

Sticking to my passion, photography, seems to be compatible as well.

A photography blog shop, providing photo editing, photo shoot, services for certain events.

2 gatherings on 2nd Jan

Dont feel like going for the first one @ 1330.

But somehow force myself to go cos someone planned it. I rather meet each of them personally then a mass gathering. It feels so distance and hard to communicate. N there are some others i don't want to meet.

I'm selfish right. Just selfish. Thinking about myself.

Well..guess i just stick thru the lunch, then i go off to the 2nd one.

VALENTINE DAY $ IDEAS

Origami flowers. will it sell? im not sure, but just try, since ebay account n paypal account are up n running.

Tried making one, failed many times...but since i have lots of time..time to start again....woo hoo bzbzbz

My first item on Ebay!!!

Woos...something i want to try yrs back... now im a online seller. Garage seller.

Testing out how it works. Apparently there is a insertion fee, whether or not yr item sell. Testing it out.

http://cgi.ebay.com.sg/ws/eBayISAPI.dll?ViewItem&item=280610427842

Think going to try 2 items first. Before i list the rest of my stuff.

Start of a new yr

at Marina bay front, with thousands of ppl crowding just to see the fireworks.

Didnt bring my camera, just my iphone, whose batt flat out completely by 1217. But it has accomplish its task.

Taken pics of fireworks, and sending the message to the one i matter most.

Time to set out what i planned to do.

Happy New Year 2011 from Marina Bay

Gif animator