A medium where i can reveal my feelings, thoughts w/o having to care about the consequences it had on others.

Wednesday, December 29, 2010

Unconditional love is painful for me

Its hard to always give, only a parent can give that to a child. Mother Theresa is unbelievable.

Knowing to always give and not expecting anything is painful especially U love this person vy much.

But one thing, the person u love, will carry on to be happy, and having u by her side, if she do look for u, be it good times or bad times.

She will be happy, or if not happier, when she met the appropriate better person out there. We always looking out for the better choice, aren't we, especially in love.

Wish her find the best lover and hubby in the next few years time, and she be married off in the beach wedding she had imagine, a beautiful white gown, her perfect smile, and perhaps me being there to see her @ her one of this happiest moment.

Fool in love time to wake up

My duty for this yr is done. My final mission. To celebrate birthday with her. I saw her blow the candles, cut the cake, make her wish.

I will not be passing the present after all, she mention she wont accept the gift from me unless its her farewell...despite she accept the gifts from her other friends. Instead, i send her the video i make several months ago. It has undergo many editions and changes, and today, i wont be making any changes to it anymore.

I sense its time to remove this needy and clingy me out of her life. Time to move on. My last duty, or my wish to see her till her bday, is done.

I shld be thankful. Next year, most prob, we will be strangers...even though my confession isn't working, i can sense its not possible, but she always will say I assume too much....but it is me now, that feels, I'm not capable of bringing happiness.

Happy birthday to this special gal...U have make me strong n weak @ the same time...guess this is what love is.

Just the way you are Lynn from alexchoo on Vimeo.

Monday, December 27, 2010

Bday gift for the special gal






Went to ion 2 times, was pondering to get Swanroski crystal, but it doesn't suit her. Went to the premium bags stores, but none got my interest and the budget im looking for.

Tiff and Co was crowded @ Taka, thus decided to go in to have a look. Finally decided on the gift. Hope she like it.

The staff is friendly. I told her it was a gift for a friend, but i won't want it to be too expensive as i worry she may not accept it. The staff is friendly and intro me to a couple of pendents based on my preference. A girl was speaking to her girlfriends about this pendent :), thus this is it. I'm buying it.

The staff do a ribbon bow around the box, a green one, and say she can exchange the stuff within 30 days for any items for the same value, but no price will be shown in the receipt.

Going to buy a wrapper, and untie this beautiful bow knot. Going to retie the bow knot again, hope i will get it right.

Its only when you do things for the ones you love, you feel there is value in life, worth waking up for everyday.

Crazy me

Already planned my year end celebration for yr ending 2011 to 2012. Maybe i now i wont be with her this year, but next year, when i back stronger, better, with this plan, it will be perfect?

But thinking of my current circumstances, it seems I'm crazy.

What I'm going to do to keep myself active, brain active.

Short term cash flow ideas
Photo stock portfolio, abt 100 photos if possible regularly, selling online via websites

Garge sales of my collections, be it comics, my ayumi stuff, robot models, cds. anything

Wow gold mining? Something i been playing, a game to generate revenue? Why not?

Long term
Wordpress or website for photography shoots, a company name, for the 2011 wedding shoots, c if i can get a slice of this pie, building from the stock portfolio shoots

Iphone apps, yes, im been talking abt this, now i got time, time to study the java codes, hope this old dog can learn new tricks.

Stock investment - passive mode, observing for low cost rather than break peaks trend

Sending resumes, getting back to my feet.

Wednesday, December 22, 2010

你敢做敢当



Seems like this is the where the joke come from

U dare to sit on the potato...adultery.

Creative or jus lame



Saw this in hardware zone forum

You dare to sit on potato - that is the forum title.

Seems like a few understand, some dont, it turns out, its

sh translation: 你敢坐敢当


HAha..have a gd laught out of this
HAHAHA, get it?

The chinese words mean you dare to stand up for what u say.
But if u speak these chinese words, it can be heard as a hokkien language,
n it will mean, "u dare to sit on the potato"

I think sg does not have its own language, but we learn a couple of them, and use them to our liking, and make it our own...a mixture of verbs n vocabs..haha..thats Singaporean to me.

Tuesday, December 21, 2010

almost 12

Blogged 2 entries at one go, a happy one, or at least, not a sad one...

but looking @ the time, its almost 12am...

i wonder if she has left the office
she has taken a ride from any of her bfs home
or mayb having supper with friends
or is she still struggling @ work

but whatever she is doing, im not in the picture...so why would i even bother?

i dun know why i have to think this way...its just the way i am?

No matter what, hope ur doing good and at least, away from work, thats the best @ this time.

Batam Trip after my last day @ work

I was moody, my heart was with her..missing my colleagues and wondering why all has ended...

Thankfully, the dudes who are with me, are kinda fun.

M, a fren, lost his iphone 4...ouch rite...feel like laughing @ him...but of cos, i understand how he feel.

K, a fren, was inspired, and sing a song, i decide to remake it and make it a full song..haha


M lost iphone4 this christmas

Last month, M give himeself iphone4
but the very next day he went batam and gave it away
N give it to someone special special

Once bitten and twice shy
M keep leaving his phone on the table top
Tell me M, have u not learn
Well it's been a year, it doesn't surprise me

(Happy Christmas!) M wrapped it up and sent it
With a gorillaz casing saying "I lost it again" and I meant it

Branded gifts for Xmas

Actually 2 of my favorite gals are december babies, so im quite nervous about it, getting their presents for them...but alot has happen...so its kinda difficult to explain the whole story...the point is...that dont do last min shopping especially the gifts are for the ones you like.

Actually order a pushie doll from a online site, a overseas one...its epic fail...meaning the online site fails to deliver my goods on time before her birthday...thats sucks..hope it will be there before Jan..or im going to rant and complain. I order 5 of the dolls, and wanted at least a pink one. I'm wasnt sure of the quality im going to get...so order more...but going to give just one...I'm crazy rite? All these for a gal whom i have no confident of dating.

Well...im just being myself..if this is what i am..then i just do it.



So since im not going to have the doll on time, i went to check out the branded bouqties in SG...i saw a coach model on the coach website, but i cant buy it, so authorization error...i using Vpost to send it to SG, but still cant get thru....

Went to almost all of the coach boutique in SG, DFS, Taka, isetan and mbs...coach is almost like a warehouse...ppl are grabbing the bags as if its free...and all its left are the ones i dont like...

i also queue up for my first time to go into a LV and Chanel boutique...its damn expensive...its not like i cant afford it, but if i were to buy it, i wasnt even sure if she want to accept it as a friend..we arent even in a relationship...getting a purse also seems hard with none seems to be good enough...

Burberry, Hermes, TODS, MIU MIU, RALPH LAUREN, I visited them all, and also Tiffany n CO.

Love tiffany n co...i will get a necklace for my girl, if i have one. I saw a open heart pendant with diamonds. Thats gorgous!



Lovely

Change of direction for 21st dec

Time to turn the blog entries into a happy, nonsensical blog...instead of a pessimistic one.

No more sad lonely boy, but a questioning, observing, debating, kuai lan boy.

If your a foreigner or not a local, kuai lan, means naughty. Its a hokkien dialect translation for the word naughty.

Kuai lan - naughty

Get it?

Monday, December 20, 2010

its gone

1st monday...its just gone like this.

my mind is just thinking about her, her bday, bothering others about what to give for her.

feel like a nuisance...so what if i make her happy wit the gift..haha...

why all of a sudden im selfish about my own happiness...

isnt that what friends are for...

guess...i know what im getting...

thats it then...

Sunday, December 5, 2010

Mind in a whirlwind

No clear directions after coming back from taiwan.

Everything is still the same, the world is moving, but i'm not.

My days are almost ending in the company. Cant help feeling lost and abandoned.

Im not sure where i want to go, aint confident of myself anymore.

The dragon has lost its wings, and fall on to the land and lost its leg...im worried i will soon bury myself in the mud and lost my eyes.

A problem solved is better than more problem. Nothing fruitful will happen right now. Sour grapes, this isnt the first time im eaten, but i just cant think why i cant deserve to be happy...

2 weeks more. Time will fade these memories.

Sunday, November 28, 2010

Asking for a clear answer

Rather than an indirect answer seem to be a definite sol.

I can't help think I'm a lost hope.

There is something. But I'm not sure is it enough for her to take the leap.

2 more weeks left till my last day.

I feel I need clear ans to move on. A sucidial to friendship or a strong bond of friendship

Haha...I already knw the ans. I just need to hear it. I getting to knw myself.

Taiwan

Waiting for the plane to Taiwan. Feeling nt as enthus as going to japan.

Most probably I dnt have the mood with all the recent happenings.

She msg me, wish me well for the trip. Feel ready to enjoy the moment I got her msg.

But now I back to my moody self.

Feeling infatuated. Still.

Thursday, November 25, 2010

Her voice

Y she called? Haha.

I duno. I duno. I duno.

Plz dnt give me false hope.

Want

I can't love e gal I want

I can't do the work I want

I can't live the way I want

What can I want?

Stop w Yr lies, I have enough

I want out, set me free

Let me go

A fool

I'm the fool who is being played around

I'm e fool who believes there is always hope

I'm the fool who is the last to find out

I'm always the fool who decieve myself

I'm the fool

I'm the fool

I'm the fool

Goodbye, that's all, thank you.

Monday, November 22, 2010

Hard being just a fren, it's hard.

U have to think u still can be there for her when she needs
U

But u can't stopped thinking what she's doing right now,
Who is she hanging out with, I dunwan to ask further cos it won't do me any good to knw more about
her life.

It will just drive me crazy...hw long will this selfish thought last...

How long can I last...pretending...lieing to myself...

Is tired of searching

2 more interviews later tis week. Im tired...it seems I'm no longer interested in the job scope
I jus wan a pay check...the higher the better...

But I know it won't be...im a tortorise...climb too slowly...

I'm tired.

Sunday, November 21, 2010

What i fear

is if i leave her for 2 long, I will forget the feeling i have with her

Friday, November 19, 2010

HWZF advice

I faced a similar situation lately.

Hint the target's best friend about your feeling, the best friend must be on your side. Best friend will spread news over. If target is interested, you can expect her to get closer to you. She should txt/contact u more frequently.

Organize an outing which involve alcohol. Under alcohol influence and if she is interested in you, she will show body contacts (create chance for you).

The Beginning: Hold-Hand
You have to identify hints she drop like when she tries to hold your hand when you try to cut through the dance floor. Hold on the hand and don't let go. If she don't resist even after when you reach your destination, go on the step two.

The "high" factor
Use alcohol as an excuse to get more body contact. If she allow you to rest yourself on her, half the battle is won. If she started the ball, you stand a higher chance.

Sealed with a kiss
With such close body contact, peck her on the fore head. DO NOT aim for the lips immediately. If she accepts the kiss on the fore head, look her into her eyes. Tell her what she thought about you. If she does not back off, go to next step.

The confirmation
Next day, text or call her to apologize, and ask her if she had a hang over. Slowly change topic. Pop the question.

Back up plan
If all else fail, blame it on the alcohol.

I should have use this eariler...she allowed me to hug her..omg....i almost want to kiss her...but i dnt dare..FFFF

Thursday, November 18, 2010

She will be loved - Maroon 5

Favourite gal

Some love need to be mutual, some don't.

Mine has been a one sided all along, but i don't mind, bcos she knows...and she likes me as well, vy much, as a friends.

I wil become a better man n hope, one day, perhaps, if there is chance again, n if im not too late, she will still be my favorite gal

I always wondered why is it always so hard to say the 3 words...bcos u cant just say it out, its the actions over time that justifed the 3 words.

It takes commitment, trust and confidence to be that the love of your partner. N it takes more to put her always before yourself interest.

Confession

I hav too many bottled up emotions i wan to tell...after looking @ her...i wan to be there for her, lent her my support...always be with her

I went back to the platform, hoping i can find something or anything, if i do lost it on the way back when im drunk like f.

i send an sms, confess to her. I cant bear to c her cry again.

I went to her place next morning, she replied. I want to c her, accy her to her work place, her new role. I want her to feel nothing wrong has taken place yesterday, all is good. Im willing to wait for her.

When i asked abt the smses, she say she deleted it accidently and ask me what is it about. There was a awkward silence that i cant think what to say.

Why i didnt say it out? Cos i know i was drunk? Or cos i dnt have the balls to say it out, using sms to test the water? F...im not like this

Im now jobless, im not rich, im jus a simple joe...n i know her expectations.

All i want, is jus let her know i like her n do i have the chance to court her.

She convey the answer to me very well. Lets be friends, her indirect answer.

2nd time

i saw her drunk...n its bcos of the same similar reason.

Im too selfish..i didnt anticipate it coming...i have my own problems, drinking, getting myself drunk...i didnt look out for her....she has her gfs and friends to protect her....but....

im hopeless. I dnt own a transport, i dnt remb her address, only know how to walk to her place....crap...what sort of guy u r...

only know how to hug, take advantage of a gal. yr favourite gal. She let me hug her, i almost want to kiss her...we r both drunk

When i reach her hse, i saw the saddest face ever, her eyes were close, her lips were almost n, she cried...bcos of the reason i know.

Y cant she b happy. She kept meeting the wrong guys.

Tuesday, November 16, 2010

A drink

She came back today and I asked her out for a drink nearby. I be so much wanting to see her so badly...i really miss her.

It was great to see her. Her happy self. Her smile, her eyes, her everything. It was like winning the lottery,

Listening to her stories, looking @ her eyes, making fun of her. She is so cute.

She will be working in the diff shift, leaving to another team. She wanted to accompany me till i left this coy...all e way...i believe she really mean that...but knowing me, i will not allow her to do that..there is no reason to torture her self, sacrifice her rest for a mere me...

M i more than a friend, can i be more than a friend...or m i just a friend who need her more than ever? Most probably its the latter.

I just want her to be happy, to be comfortable with me. I just want that. And i think she is happy tonight.

Live for the present, the moment, cherish the time together, that's all i care being with her.

Monday, November 15, 2010

Xmas

Can't zzz. Thinking abt hw e year will end.
I be leaving jus a week b4 Xmas n 2 weeks b4 her bday.

Jus wan to be there w her during these times. But I won't.

Bz making her gift. Can't get the technique right. Can I get it ready b4 Xmas?

Saturday, November 13, 2010

Miss her

Wondering what she is doing nw?

I wan to knw but I cant find out cos there is no reason.

Feel like chasing her shadow. It seems I can nv reach there.

Pushing my boundaries, pressing my buttons, becoming a better me

That's her effect.

I can only be there for her when she needs me, but not when I want to

Unconditional love is difficult cos all u do is give, n expect nothing in return.

Wednesday, November 3, 2010

Whats tough

is that I have to assure myself its a temporary set back, where u believe u have control over where you are going, where you are heading.

When future isn't unsure, confidence will fade, you will begin to doubt yourself. It is time at this, character will be tested, boundaries will be tested.

I need to be strong. Strong. Strong.

Mixed feelings

I have no control over when the company wants me to leave. I wasn't given any choice. Its just business, not personal.

What i dislike its coated in many empty promises and expectation. It feel deceiving.

But i'm still glad to have the chance to join this company, cos i get to meet her. I have to fail so many chances before, just to have this chance, to meet her.

I'm glad. With her, i realize what does it meant to really love a person.

That is something way harder to find than in a job description.

My video present is getting more polish. I have to say its only passion driven will the work produced be perfect. Cos all u think of is for that someone special.

I have planned another gift for her Xmas, but i may have to create it earlier because i doubt i have chance to see her again.

Wednesday, October 20, 2010

hip hop

http://www.swingapore.com/

http://www.studiowu.com/

http://www.oschool.com.sg/

http://www.ladanceconnection.com/

Gues dnd is near, salsa shld be here, zouk lambaaaa

Living

some things u can only enjoy when ur young

Time to hip hop

i must do it

Passive income, ya, a day job doing sales maybe get u sky high, but it dependable on economic cycles and demand, the sustainable income is one that is stable, n perhaps passive, but who m i to say....i need to do it my way

2 major goals

Sunday, October 17, 2010

Needs by Tony Robbin

The concept of 6 core needs, or six human needs as discussed by Tony Robbins seeks to explain the primary human needs that drive behavior.

In his breakthrough relationship program, "The Ultimate Relationship Program, Tony Robbins demonstrates, using real live participants how these needs fact into the way we have conducted ourselves in our relationships.

According to Anthony Robbins, "we are all driven by the need to fulfill six humans needs basically. These 6 basic human needs are not just desires or wants, but profounds needs which serve as the basis of every choice we make".

1. Certainty

This is the need for security, comfort and consistency

2. Uncertainty

This is need for variety, challenges,

3. Significance

The need to feel important, needed, wanted and worthy of love

4. Love and Connection

The need for feeling connected with and loved by other human beings.

5. Growth

The need for constant development emotionally, intellectually and spiritually

6. Contribution

Giving beyond ourselves and giving to others.

no. 5 and 6 are needs for spiritual growth.

Monday, October 11, 2010

Power to believe

“The only thing that’s keeping you from getting what you want is the story you keep telling yourself,” says Robbins. “What we can or cannot do, what we consider possible or impossible, is rarely a function of our true capability. It is more likely a function of our beliefs about who we are.”

According to Robbins, the single biggest reason why most people fail to achieve a fulfilling life is because they are stuck in the limits of their own mind; they settle for a quality of life that is below what they desire because they don’t think they can do better or they fear the possibility of failure. But, says Robbins, failing to challenge yourself is the greatest failure of all.

Source: link

Apps creation isnt easy

what i read online, about d/l x code program, joining the developers programs, yes. they are tools n support.

But the real challenge comes with understanding the C objective, programming the stuff.

I have to start from scratch.

I wonder whether this project will it be finish?

Sunday, October 10, 2010

What u do when u find the one

but u cant have her

its difficult, knowing life still goes on.

All is pending, nothing serious, nothing forward to look for.

But its not permanent yet, things can change.

I want to have hope. I need to create hope.

I shouldn't give up, but i also shouldn't limit myself.

Tuesday, September 28, 2010

Emotional drama

i will not expect this to happen, but it did.

Guess, im there for a reason, gave her support, for her to move on.

Time for me to move on.
It was great memories as well as sad ones.

Please take care of her, dont make her sad again.

Sunday, September 26, 2010

She feels good

abt the date, to me that is.

I teach her how to use my camera, n my panning technqiue..haha...sort of impress her...

She is cute, i got her to pose many shots for me...she is willingly, seriously, i can c the look, the smile on her cute face.

She is way better than any model, she is lovely.

Adam lambert, tks to u, i may not even cant get her out...im so jealous of u.

Saturday, September 25, 2010

MY FIRST DATE

is today..after so long in my dream

i have come so far...it seems good...seems the right time

Its hard to believe good things do happen, happen to me, in love

In about few hours time, i be with the gal of my dream

i want to treasure this opportunity she has given me

My thanks extend to slap club, marcus, desmond, goof, for lenting their listening ear, and support to overcome this mental barrier of being not an underdog...at least for today

Follow my heart, all will be well

Its never abt me, its about her, making her feel good, special, will be my task today

I do not know what will happen, i duno what foolish thing i will do in moments i cant control.

Hope all is well tonight. Wish me luck!

Wednesday, September 22, 2010

Qn

She went down with me to drink just to get high and ask me a question...

great...

i rather her ask me another question...

do i have a chance...3 idiots...all is well...

hope she got the hint

Thursday, September 16, 2010

Found myself praying

just to hope she can get an mc jus for today, so she can go home...cos she is so stubborn.

I dnt wish to c her cry, b hurt again.

If there is a supreme being, i pray she can be happy n blissful.

Saturday, September 11, 2010

Found the others



So cute!

Clearing my room n i found

my gift from KK.

I retrieve all the photos and view them in my Mac.

But i cant view the screen saver. Have to switch to my pc to view it.

KK, tks, i really didnt forget u.

Thks for yr songs, ur have lived in the y best of yr way!

Frank Sinatra, My Way, With Lyrics


Friends are friends forever -- LIVE -- Michael W. Smith [With Lyrics/Subtitles]

Breakthrough w Anthony Robbins

Chen chen told me about this series on utube.

It inspires me and i learn to align my goals again, making sure it will seriously be done rather than a 2 step forward, 3 step backward.

Hope it will inspire u as well.

Safra run

I cant say i hate it, but i sign up for the wrong reasons.

I will take it as a learning experience to exercise my decision muscle.

hope i can finish my run.

Working on the holiday

Work on Hari Raya.

Chen chen also came back. We let at 4plus to the nearby resturant, ate western, and drank at harris.

it was the first time only we both went out, on a lunch. We share stories, talk, mostly about her. She is having problems with her bf. But i know she loves him and if both willingly to work things out, it will happen.

I ask, do u change for someone u love, or u accept someone whom he/she is? Her ans its about us, adapting to each other.

Thursday, September 9, 2010

Busy

Keeping myself full of activities, planning adventures.

24-26 SEPT, F1 NIGHT RACE

OCT, SAFARI HALLOWEEN NIGHT

NOV, 7D TAIWAN TRIP

Thats it for now. Wanted to add in climbing, rafting and diving. But lack of friends who is interested and tight scheduling.

Driving course or diving course shld occupy Oct. Dec will be buying gifts for friends and bday for octopus.

Monday, September 6, 2010

Motivation to work

No longer have the motivation to work. It has become a chore for me to work in this dream company.

I need the desire to seek new knowledge in this derivative market, in order to uplift my spirit from this mundane task. More updates ahead for my trading blog!

My 2nd Mac

Owned my 1st mac when i was in secondary sch. Now gotten a new mac from the comex fair.

I always wanted to create apps. With Mac OS, it has become possible.

After watching one of the essential video for apps creation, i realize it is difficult. It will take time just to familiarize to the codes, tools...and a idea i want to use for my first app creation b4 a winning app is created.

Sunday, August 15, 2010

Whats next after YOG

Still feeling restless after the YOG.

Preimum F1 walk about is sold out. Mariah Carey is coming on Sun. Guess i stick to the zone 4 walkabout. Cheaper tix for walkabout zone 4 and I can experiment more with my noobish skil before investing in a more expensive lens. YA...something to look forward to after work, 24, 25, 26 Sept...here i come

Going Natas fair end of the mth to plan for a trip. Taiwan most probably will be my no 1 choice.

Hope i can survival the pending outfield.

Thursday, August 5, 2010

How much is that Porsche at the window

Porsche...powerful, sexy...and it means ur loaded.

Money makes the world go round...

N u cannot have enough of it

Hazi....36 yrs old, that will be another 9 more years...

Can i afford one?

100k min...guess if im earning 20k per mth, y not?

Affordability is the key.

Sunday, August 1, 2010

My unread poem for Sarah

When I saw these intern gals
I ask myself what would they be
Never did i expect
This is how crazy they will be

Hey Sarah Sarah
We ate French cheese and drank wine
Play Indian Poker
And i end up staying overnight

Hey Sarah Sarah
We went to KTV
Ah Ben is the K prince
Khalid is the control king
Ur the screaming queen

Hey Sarah Sarah
U drank the wrong sakura
Puff seesha with us
and Merlion it comes

Hey Sarah Sarah
We chill out at Arena
Have fun at Attica
We have many great nights together
Friday nights will never be the same without you
Will sure miss the fun we have

Inspire by the name Sarah

14 August



I be there @ the opening ceremony of the YOG...ya...i always want to be first...for events like this.

Didnt expect the tix to be a form of a cash card, a visa cash card. Havnt read in details how to use it, but its suppose to activate only for that day. No wonder i have to go all the way down to stadium to collect.

Cant remember why i wanted to go...perhaps i want a good firework shot...bringing my mum along. Hope it wont rain.

Javanese Massage

Finally visit my good friend's massage place. 1st time doing a body massage.

Feels weird at first, but later its ok.

After the massage, i join her at her secondary school class gathering at a Malay pub near Golden landmark. First time being there as well.

They have not met for 20 years. But it seems all good, they chat, laugh, share stories...i being to reflect on myself that i also miss out on my primary school class gathering.

I guess it doesn't matter where u r now, u just want to know these group of friends are around to celebrate life with u for occasions like this.

Cosfest 2010 part 6




Cosfest 2010 part 5





Cosfest 2010 part 4





Cosfest 2010 part 3





Cosfest 2010 part 2





Cosfest 2010

Its been some time since i update my blog without using my iphone. Cant upload photos with the blog with it, neither embedding utube videos...kinda sucks.

Plenty of time ahead, so decide to upload a few pics..hehe.

Went to Cosfest a couple of weeks ago, it was a last min decision. Well...after the trip, i was still feeling moody...guess i really long for something to fill up my empty time...





Saturday, July 31, 2010

Close

Seems like Im sensitive to knw she is having problems. Hope she will be happy soon.

Wednesday, July 28, 2010

Congrats to my collegue

For her official bf!

Happy for her. Seriously happy for her. No sour grapes.

Happy sotong found the plane. Fly off through the clouds and across the blue skies.

Hope u will settle down soon :)

Falling lover boy

Read a news abt a guy jump from the 3rd storey to escape from his lover's employer who is a maid. They only met I tink a few days only...yet this guy Loves this woman.

Even it's crazy that two ppl can b in love in such a short time, I can't believe it happen in reality except in movies.

But is this love? Or more of a infatuation?

Whatever it is, they found each other....hope they will continue to be together despite the upcoming hardships...

Then love of theirs will be put thru the test of time.

Haha...I'm a admirer of them...cos they found each other...

Sunday, July 25, 2010

ZZZ

This weekend has been a quiet one. Just rest at home, zzz like there is no tomorrow.

Didnt expect the thought of not going to see her any soon devastate me that bad.

Subconsciously, i just keep thinking about her when i don't want to.

I have to focus on being a successful single

http://www.singleshelp.org/1intro.html

Little lost lamb...im the underdog, perhaps 1 day we will meet again

Saturday, July 24, 2010

Meet up for te last time

Not sure of there's going to be the another time. She will return to sch
only on Jan next yr.

Many things will happen...will I still miss her?

Monday, July 19, 2010

Lack of drive

Feel like a zombie. Jus work, eat, zzz...nothing else

hw to find back the drive I need to feel confident

Saturday, July 17, 2010

Farewell montage

Done my first photo montage and send it to the gals n every1.
They say it's wonderful, impressive, awesome.
The gals were touched!

My friend ask y u wan to do so much for
the interns.

Guess I have fun I ever have b4...n I like one of them.

But she's attached, n they r happily in love...I shouldn't step in.

I'm feel something for her...but that's history now.

Tuesday, July 13, 2010

Getting fat

Time to go back muay Thai n trim away...

No more fun n games

Lack the drive to do anything...work work work Is boring...I need to
find a venue to unleash my energy

Sunday, July 11, 2010

I'm weak

I can't stop thinking abt her

Saturday, July 10, 2010

Hugs xposed

http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index?qid=20090721200034AAaKTu4

got my ans...can't read 2 much into hugs n kiss. Hahaha...I'm so nerdy...u can't ask permission for hugs.. U jus do it...I'm lucky guess...to feel young again...

But the kiss...really can't xplain it...mayb I'm 2 cute :)

nxt wk their last week...plan to bk table at butters...a place they been wanting to go but always dnt have the chance. Hope they like it.

Hugs n kiss

Met néw ppl for drinking. Was with 2 syt. Last destination was arena. We. R high...but tis isn't the first time we dance like tis. She hugs. Omg....I was caught by surprise....n she kiss on my cheek...a wet one...for a while...wet....I was like..is she crazy....she has a bf u knw...I remind myself....it mayb it's the age of the young...where Im still can't accept these behaviour...but she did won my heart for th nite....

Friday, July 9, 2010

Missing u

Duno y...send a MSg asking her hw is she, n I reply missing her without thinking....guess I really miss her ESP on fri nites when we hang out together.

Goin to meet new ppl 2nite, my counterparties frm other broking hse...so cool...haha...but she isn't here to soak the fun...

Thursday, July 8, 2010

Wake

Visit her grandma's wake today. Saw her parents and she share some stuff wit me regarding the times she have. I'm glad she's ok. Still smiling. Her pilot was beside her, accy her since yesterday. Gd. Decent guy with deeper pockets, at least more than me. Looks honest, a gd husband that can care for her life. Glad she has someone with her right now. Guess they must be having chiong pang nasi lemak.

She needs some1 nw. N there is someone there, the problem is that I wish it's me...haha...why?

Monday, July 5, 2010

Run out of motivation

Work has become difficult. Ppl has finally left. More will be leavin next wk. Inflatuation had ended. Seems like there is nothin to look forward to. Emo boy I hav become.

What it takes to fire up my drive to live fully?

Wednesday, June 30, 2010

Prada

Can't win a heart without the parents' help and a 2k prada bag...she's so happy. Tribal chen chen can u help me get rich and handsome? Haha. Money is stability. Car is status. Guess the rest is up to the character to touch her heart.

Tuesday, June 29, 2010

99 roses

That's the way to impress the gal cos u nv know hw many she is going to receive on vday

Saturday, June 26, 2010

Dancing

First time actually visited a club, with the one I like. Although it's a grp gathering, I was around her, following her moves. It was great.

I also took a puff, duno y, perhaps since I already first time clubbing, might as well.

Her energy lvl is high, closing her eyes, dancing to the beat.

Thursday, June 24, 2010

Can't help it

2mor going to marina bay sky park alone... Haha.. But nvm...if there is a person I wan to bri, it will b chen chen. Been doing ot these few days, many changes lately, ppl is goin to leave, change management, more tasks, my stress is increasing.

The view frm the sky park shld relax me abit.

Overheard her toking to a person, must be her pilot bf...hazi...rich...I'm can't help it...haha...such a great gal...

Wednesday, June 23, 2010

First msg

Got her first MSG frm her, asking me to take care and gd nite. So sweet. Although this isn't our first MSG, this is her first to initiate. Feel so gd. But i have to remain my distance, to b her best guy friend at work that is. That's all Im contented. I dnt think I wan to risk this friendship. I hope she find someone who can complment her, meet her expectations and love her and she loves him back.

Saturday, June 19, 2010

Frustated

Im frustrated that just in these short period of time, the more I knw, the more I interact, the more aware it's difficult and it's best for me not to pursuit further. The optimum place I can be is being her best guy friend a one with a geniun heart with no intentions of getting her. Everytime we walked together, there will be someone looking at her, and I have to admit if I'm of them if I duno her.

I'm just a plain simple guy but can't I allow myself the chance to pursuit then to give up? Why do I heed to my friends' advice and not just do what I want to achieve...y?

If she is such a gd catch, she deserve someone better than u. U will be her last choice if lucky enough.

Learning to enjoy life

I started to have a "life". Activities with frens, weekend are booked, weekdays r busy...and I'm finding things to do. Why? For the sake of a woman I wish to be on the same wave length with, to let her knw I'm cool?

I can't cope with her energy level. Her lifestyle is different. These various differences are things I must accept if I want to continue, and there will be more hurdles.

But thanks to her, I have exceed myself, done many things, I feel like a different person. Perhaps I shld just be her a best guy friend then a partner...cos I afraid it seems impossible

What I have become

I scheme, plan, to get close to her. I find out more abt my competitor n other infor as well ... But I also realize I begin to lose myself as well. I no longer is the mr nice guy. But some1 who scheme, plan, make sure things r favourable to me. I feel so not myself.

Even I myself can c my actions r so obvious that I wan alone time with her....but being alone doesn't mean her heart is with u as well.

Friday, June 18, 2010

Need a car!

There is a grp activity for drinking. Afterwhich, a guy MSG her to pick her up and send her home. My heart was like...ok...suitors...and knowing her, she will accept. But I shouldn't have left her alone in the hotel lobby. She MSG there were 2 Ang mos trying to be funny....y wasn't I there to protect her even if she is waiting for another guy...I MSG her, keeping her engaged. I worried abt her, so after waiting for a while, I called...yep...she's in the car... I realized how nice to hear her voice...then receiving her MSG.

But she is with another guy nw, with the car. I gotto have 1!

Progress

She seems moody during yesterday dinner session. Thus accu her to 711 to get jap bread to microwave. Nv xpext her to be cured of her moodiness. Later chit chat with her, without no1 disturbing, the intern email us saying we laugh so loud that I don't even notice. We r having a gd time, seriously.

Feel that I got to knw more abt her and she is comfortable to reveal her self.

Thursday, June 17, 2010

Happier person

Met one of my x colleague in the mall. She is with her bf. So we didn't stop to talk, just smile. She send me a MSG, saying I look happier. I didn't realize it and begin to think the reasons y.

Lesser work stress, nice environment, nice colleagues, these are the factors. And there is 1 more I didn't tell. L.

She will always smile. I didn't notice I begin to smile as much. Sometimes when I'm alone, I will think of the conversations we have, and just smile. She's so cute and adorable. Guess, it's also because of her, I learn to be more comfortable, more happy at everyday things which I normally didn't even be bothered. Her energy is infectious that it change my mood.

That is why she is so attractive

Monday, June 14, 2010

A sign that things are nv meant to be

Spoken with my 2 closest friends who knw me for years, they said we r incompatible. I knew it but I knw I can change but not this much, not this fast. I saw my crush in the ex coy in a mall yesterday with her rumored bf. Ppl also say the same thing, it's impossible, we r 2 worlds apart.

It's a reminder to me that some things ate never meant to be even if we try, that is for relationships. Feel like a loser. Haha. What's new?

Saturday, June 12, 2010

Nearly a date, guess not

Today she told me abt a SMS she got. She say this suitor say i miss u, abt taking medicine. He ask her out for movie tonight. She went out with him last week, and dnt like him. But she dnt want to waste this fri nite. She hint she wanted to catch the movie karate kid. So I took the opportunity...but not sure I want to include the rest of the gang since she told me this alone. I finally just send the invite to every1...which I regret...I want to be with her alone....

It turns out later, every1 can't make it..I was smiling in my heart...except one thing...she didn't give an ans as well. She mention this b4,"if she dnt like someone,or dnt wan to mislead someone, she won't give the opportunity...I thgt of this...I kist kept quiet...when she reaches the met stop... She tolde she hope not miss her train..I guess she dnt wan to mislead me as well.

There will be event on next sat, a beach party...if I have car...I sure chio...but no car...no charm...what shld I do....so many challenge...so attractive....I wish I know what to do

Friday, June 11, 2010

Confused

I never been in love b4. All I have is crushes, infatuation, but nv cross the line to love. All I know is wiki definition of these various feelings I can catergorise to be aware of what I'm in.

Having been thru 1 office pursuit, not exactly a gd one, Now, I'm face with the same situation. Ppl say humans fall in love, but I more agreeable to the phase ppl choose who to fall in love with.

My fren told me, I'm ren Qian ren ai, I c one, I like one. It's seems to be the case for my past experiences. So I'm by doubtful of my feelings.

I can't deny she is a looker. I think I'm the luckiest guy. To be sifted across her desk, smiling at her everyday when I start my day. Stealing glances, smiling, sending email bet us only, goosiping abt others, flirting in some way...asking her to accy me to pantry, chatting abt hws her day, work, her skills in making Milo...she say the pantry sucks.

Going for dinner with her almost everyday, getting more and more comfortable with her. Today I was sitting beside her...for the first time, I really feel so relaxed...I can't explain. Then when I went to get something else, some idot take my seat...that's my place! But of cos, that's the voice from my heart.

Colleagues, friends, the line to cross is hard if it's only 1 sided. Worst still, I c her everyday, jus beside me...it's upsetting if I wasn't given the chance to woo her.

My experience tell me, not to confess, but to ask her out for innocent appointments, test water.

I really like her, but symptoms tell me it's a crush...it's not love. Is crush a pre requistive of love?

She ask to shake my hand today, her reason, her hands is cold. I really can c her in my life. But that's my picture. Can she c me in her life ahead?

Sunday, June 6, 2010

Busy

Life has evolved 2 a faster pace. There is something to look 4ward 2, it seems. Sign up for gym classes, going 4 photo shoots, drinking. But it seems stagnate again. Is it I'm trying to be busy, to avoid thinking of settling down?

Wednesday, June 2, 2010

Muay Thai?

Went 4 a trial session 4 muay Thai. It's diff from gym as there is no weight training. Coordinating the hands n legs, while moving yr body, focusing on the target. I feel different. The abs actually strain even though I didn't do crunches. My legs seems more lively, without the running injuries I commonly hav. Can I truly be a muay Thai fighter for good.

Something abt octupus L

Become closer 2 her each day, more comfortable with her. She like red colour,told me abt her habits for tissues, her hobbies. She is happy. I guess u meet ppl in different stages 2 knw 2 live...glad 2 meet her, really brightens my day. So adorable hugging the octupus doll. She does that when she is headache abt work. There is something abt her that make her glow, not just her smile, her talking eyes, it's everything.

Friday, May 28, 2010

lost my phone

Sad sia...n i oslo discover i missing 1 contact lens as wel...poof...

Yesterday nite trying to take out my right eye contact lens, but find it difficult to do so, tis morning, i went to try again, it seems like i dont have the lens....crap.

Went drinking yesterday nite, it was nice, getting tipsy, drinking, met my chio colleague...but didnt went in wit her into the club...now being to feel regrets....what m i expecting, a chance, nope, just to chill out...

i feel so bad asking them to leave the pub but dessert them at the club and left by myself...perhaps im too blur minded to make right decision. But i do know that, to keep your possessions in check all the time if u go chiong...

What i lost is a phone, aside from the pictures, no naked ones, but only those of embarassing types like my army mates kana sabo with toothpaste and half naked posing in the bunk....whats more critical, is the information i stall in the notes, schedules, there are some emails as well, and i didnt clear the cache....oya, time to change my password fast...

Wednesday, May 26, 2010

Love the tissue smell

Tats my colleague. Serves as a reminder as to what to give her on her bday

Tissue + oragami = tissue rose!!!

Tough..challenge

Duno if im up to it....

hard sia...from the fb photos, cant help wondering if she is attached....

AHAHAHAHA.................suddenly my confident drop.........

Shld i ask her out? I also not ready...fb chat already quite nervous....

Duno wat to do.........where is my gao ren

Tuesday, May 25, 2010

Member and 1st email

After going to the wedding, and being single for so long, looking at friends getting attached...i also cant resist looking for one.

Sign as a member for a dating website and send out my first email. Guess wat, i gotta a reply and added her in the FB. Technology is fast. N i discover her blog. There are many suitors...hmmm..its a open mkt

I also send out more than 1 though, but she is so far my favourite....time to change

Friday, May 21, 2010

Dinner conversation

Not sure how it got started, but she say she want to get married.

I wanted to say, "How about now?"...haha...well, in my fantasy world.

Monday, May 17, 2010

First wedding photo shoot!

Volunteer to be a photographer for my colleague...good that im a spare...haha..i really amature...i really learn alot from this experience.

A wedding photographer not know much know what lens and camera he is using, but most of all, to get the atmosphere up, with the family members, friends, to get high, posing them for shots they value on their big day.

Its really memories that matter...although the quality of the shots matter, i tink tis time round, it is the feelings that photograph will evoke from the memories of the wedding that matters...

Its tough being a wedding photographer...and im glad to have this opportunity to bring my understanding abt this passion to a higher knot!

Pass my ippt!

I was sick but still continue wit the test, cos there wasnt much of a choice. And i pass! Miracle!

3mths plus of training, gyms, interval training, speed training, until leg pain...its worth it!

Finally with the free time and slimmer body, i can do things i wan!

Monday, May 10, 2010

Coming test

http://stratoguy.multiply.com/journal/item/8

I need inspiration and tips to pass the test.

Saturday, May 8, 2010

Smile

She has a egg shape face, tan complexion, big oval eyes, long wavy perm. Whats most mesmerizing is her smile. She smile so naturally.

She look younger than her age. Always so motivated. I notice she never seems to reject people...could be her weakness.

She has 20 over boyfriends...haha...duno true anot, but think it can be possible? Her wear a polo raulph shirt, should be expensive...she been to many places such as europe, usa when she was young and studied at Australia.

Rich and beautiful, no wonder she have so many bfs. Glad to have her as my colleague.

Thursday, May 6, 2010

Cash is the bait, now time earn it

My senoir is getting married and is going off next 2 weeks. It will be a crash course to train me within this week...haha...i duno wat to say man. Im happy for him but no so much for myself. I will be excel expert if i carry on with this role. I didnt expect one to do so much data management....man...u have to c it to know.

Looking at the pay im getting, tink with higher pay comes higher responsibility, steeper learning curve, and being initiative to learn the ropes.

People say my face look stress...haha..and my team mate, my dear colleage, so cute, keep saying "Steady boh", smiling at me, just sitting opposite to my desk. Think she must have felt my stress feeling...haha.

Went home together, ok, on the train, just for 2 stops, sitting beside each other, her face is oval shape, large pearl shape eyes, tan complexion, she really look cute. Despite her model look presence, actually, she is very warm, always smiling...duno if this is her tactic to get the seniors to help her...haha...im so bad to think this way...hazi...tink i have enough of eating and shitting at the same place...i dont want to have a crush on my colleague, especially one that i will work closely for the next yr...

at least, i have a eye candy to look, to feel motivated to dress up, who knows whom i will meet

Wednesday, May 5, 2010

1st day at work

now i have a ang mo boss, but he dont act like one, he chat up wit me, i have not yet feel the pressure from him using his rank. It is only me who draw the differences.

My perm colleague, is a chio bu, mature, knows how to dress up. Never probe abt her age, whether she is attached, she always smile, vy approachable, sometimes when i c her smile, i tink my work seems to feel much lighter, easier to cope. haha. I guess it will be a matter of time i will get her on my face book with the rest of the team.

My seniors, all of them are from other departments, they are just temporary here to help out. After they have hired another 2 more persons, 1 more manager, tats it, we are on our own sailing this ship.

Work basically is just excel, reconciliation, matching, calling, emailing. Seems like nothing to do, repetitive. Unlike my dealer work, which is dynamic, you wont know what to expect!

Hrs are flexible, ppl are cooporative, seems like there are no loofers yet...guess they pay much to get quality people who can work and produce.

Sunday, May 2, 2010

Nervous abt change

2mor going to work at the new company after abt 2 weeks of break. Feeling nervous about meeting new people, colleagues, adapting to the new culture and everything.

Self doubt begin to set in before i even started. Wish i have more confident in myself that i be able to deliver what i promise.

Friday, April 30, 2010

Yummy models

Surfing the local forums, there are plenty of opportunities to have photo sessions with models, with a price tag of cos, ranging from 40 bucks to 150 bucks. Some of them from Japan, Taiwan and local talent.

As much as i want to, i have to know that i want to take great portraits rather than ogling at the models wear their lingerie. Its good money for the models.

Perhaps i should invest on how to get the correct technique than to pay to shoot these gorgeous mei meis. Or better yet, get a galfriend to do shoots for me...haha

Wednesday, April 28, 2010

12 min on the treadmill

Clear 2.4km on the treadmill after about 4 days of rest, that is no exercise.

Not sure if i can do the same on the tracks, with hot sun, and after my static station.

I was running 2.10min for the 1st rd, 2min for the 2nd, i cant remb my 3rd and 4th. By the 5th round, i check it was about 9min plus.

Wish this was my 2.4km test, i will be jumping to the sky.

Can i create this miracle...

Hooked on action photography

Got sun burn after standing in the sun over the weekend to catch the formula drift. 1st day we are under a bridge, there is shade. The 2nd day we are at a better position, but it was directly under the sun.

It was tough, standing, taking pictures continuously. I was tired, after the 1st day of shooting. But looking at the photos, i knew a large chunk of photos are meaningless, despite the speed and quality. Im looking for the feel, the atmosphere rather than just how sharp is the picture. Im glad the 2nd day i have better rewards. The drivers are tired as well haha...

The race queens from Taiwan are also a nice addition to my portfolio, but it seems my photos didn't catch the right lighting and exposure. I also didn't manage to get emotions portrayed by the race queens.

My holidays is ending, and i saw there is a martial art road show at RWS. Hot gals and demo fights. Maybe i should make the trip down on Sat...if im interested after the 1st day, perhaps i come down on the 2nd day as well...haha

Friday, April 23, 2010

Boring...wihout work...im nuts

today is the 6th day of my long leave...doing exercising, reading books, surfing forums, looking at market... it seems little to do...haha...im a boring person.

Finish War of gods 3 normal mode, gave up on GTA Vice City which is a old game.

Been reading CFA book 6, Derivatives, which is useful in the new job im taking. I feel more assure having the knowledge at my fingertips. Do not want to feel alien when the colleagues speak of these technical jargons

I have already made a few plans to make my weekend more fruitful...but somehow it feels to me if its plan, it doesnt feel that exciting anymore...perhaps im afraid of the turnout.

Sat, RT again for me, evening, not sure if i still want to do a make up for it on Sat morning.

Sat, there will be a ceremony opening of the helix bridge at IR, suppose to have firework and parade and 930pm, ppl can use that bridge...hmm...since i have nothing much to do, and i have bought a tripod, y not join in the fun??? Define fun??? Photograph ppl having fun while i act like a "professional" photographer....well...i just want to make use of my investment...haha.

Sun, actually, Sat also have, that is the drift formula at F1 pit. Aside from the fast car, drift actions, there will be race queens as well. Not sure if i can get the tixs on that day itself. Panning is a technique i wish to use, focusing on the moving object, while blurring the surrounding.

To live as a monster or die as a good man

This is a quote from Shutter island movie. It started off slow, soon it grasp my attention and i totally stay awake to finish the show.

The ending was totally unexpected. Leonardo DiCaprio is brilliant in his role. There are times i wonder if the scenes protraying are his imagination or are they real. Great movie!

I guess the when Teddy say this above quote, most probably he is hinting he is sane, but choose to remain delusional to received whatever treatment he is getting.

Wednesday, April 21, 2010

Question about citizenship

I came across a article in a HWZ forum, about a person blogging about leaving Singapore to Canada. The thought of traveling overseas for a holiday did occur to me, but to stay permanently there i never really serious consider about it.

But when i read these various comments and sources, i also feel i shouldn't be bonded to an island where i was born and should explore overseas opportunities if i can. Before i do consider, i should also think of my parents, friends, work that i be leaving and how feasible for me to leave to that designated country.

Maybe i should take a 1 yr break, traveling around the world, ok, not the world, but across the main major cities and experience living aboard for a considerable amount of time. This will be a major plan that will upset my career path, but if i do choose business building or other sources of income that i manage to build, that would be optimum.

Goal, to take a yr break just traveling and living abroad.
Goal, to grow business, other income to generate cash flow in my absence, to sustain my way of life and family.
Deadline: 2015..seems long, but feasible....hehe

I have to remind myself to update this blog 5 yrs later whether did i accomplish this goal or done it in another way.

HWZ forum: http://forums.hardwarezone.com.sg/showthread.php?t=2739018&page=6
Another source: http://intelligentsingaporean.wordpress.com/2006/09/21/why-i-would-like-to-leave/

A tripod makes sense

Gotten my tripod and a another complementary lens to my kit lens, 18-250 mm lens after persuasion from the sales guy at my favorite camera shop.

Took a few night shot of the CBD area and the IR, it turns out great...but still it lacks the feel i'm seeking.

A photograph is just a picture and it will be interpretable by others perception on the focus subject. I hope i get to produce quality works and i can bear my own signature on the shots.

Thursday, April 15, 2010

Finally my last day

I have say my goodbyes and returned my staff pass. Gotten my testimonial from my boss. There is no reason to visit my work place anymore.

I miss my colleagues badly. Having been together, facing many tough and happy moments together, i miss the feeling of being comfortable in this 2nd home.

I kept their best wishes and know that i will relied on their support when i face the uncertainty in the new company.

Received a friendster email, today looks like is my friend birthday as well, but he is physically no longer with us, but still alive in my memories. Im sure he will be happy for me.

Best pizza

I bought pizzas for ETNA restaurant at lau pa sau. It was the best pizza i ever eaten. Trust me. All my colleagues also say the same thing.

Its the type of pizza where u can eat more without feeling sick of it. And u can even eat it when its cold and the texture is still as good. The cheese is still soft, the bread is still fresh...unbelievable.

I was goggling what pizza is the best, and this came out tops in the reviews. I ordered a squid/prawn side dish and tiramisu (another favorite).

Im glad i ordered it, and think the next time round, i going to visit that restaurant for a dinner in.

Learning not to chase a rally too late

Despite having a system, guess, i cant resist looking at counter which rallys like a rocket within a few working days.

Day 1, the stock jump up by 20c, i was tempted to buy, although system already told me its too high a price to go in and its beginning to shown overbought indication.

Day 2, it rallys another 10c more, i was in, making a day paper profit of nearly a 100 bucks with just 1 lot, unbelievable. Same trend, same indication

Day 3, guess what, it rallys again, i have place in order to queue but i cancel it each time the bids kept on moving to the next higher price. The greed or fear of losing this potential opportunity to ride on the wave makes me jump into this man made rally.

Day 4, the wave die down, i was back to square one, or worse, haha...exactly still not so bad a loss, but having free up the exiting holds to get the cash flow, still makes a overall loss. Well, my those tortoise stocks which i held on, they move up instead.

Conclusion
Trust yr system, follow the rules, if i still kept on to my initial foresight, well, im still in the money. Lesson learned and i pay a price for it. Lets hope we will see another wave to bring this mighty ship back to full sail.

Monday, April 12, 2010

Change

My last day with my current employee is till this Wednesday. I don't actually feel happy at all, but moody. Perhaps i miss my colleagues, i miss the graveyard shift doing nothing, i miss the confidence of knowing everything about the business and afraid that i not able to adapt to changes to the new environment.

There is a mental block that everytime i experience something good, i fear i will lose it soon.

Perhaps i fear i'm not ready to make the career move. There are plans i have arranged to make this transition successful. Hope by end of April, i am ready to make it.

Sunday, April 4, 2010

Killer apps

A feasible business model, a start up business where anyone with good ideas and creativity to share with the iphone community.

Read it in today's paper, abt people getting passive income from having successful downloads.

Its something i remember i wanted to try but forgotten. But first, to launch a app for iphone, i got to own a iphone first.

What i can do now, is brain storm for ideas.

Thursday, March 25, 2010

Achieve the next career move!!!

Finally got an offer from the counter party. Cant believe its happening. Sometimes its hard to swallow that good things are happening to me.

Although the role wasn't what i expected, it fits my selection criteria before i decided to go full venture.

Pull Factors

Its a global financial institute, reputable, will make yr resume looks good when u decided to move on to the next higher income bracket

The products involved is totally new, but complementary to what i have learn in my current company, which will increase my expertise and expand my arsenal of knowledge and experience in the financial sector.

The pay is decent, not alot, but definitely much much more than what im getting right now.

Corporate culture emphasis on internal mobility, leaves a lasting impression on me, im the person who will be bored once i perceive i have learn and master the competencies required, and manage the task to be successful and excel in this new role. It will be great to move up the career ladder.

Push Factors

There seems to be nothing much to learn, except being repetitive.

Stagnation, minimum pay increment, bonus incentive is low to retain workers.

Conflicts with certain management practices. Biases towards certain individual on the expanse of the whole team. Despite several confrontation, it seems to be useless. He is fair only to himself. Period.

What i will miss


My colleagues, my team, whom i can trust, we fight together in the dark periods, thrown into the forest fire, doing fire fighting everyday. I will miss them.

Still, its a valuable experience and a good stepping stone for me.

Ways to save money, tips from hwz

REF: http://forums.hardwarezone.com.sg/showthread.php?t=2702361

Interesting read, sometimes u know u can save money, but u choose to spend it anyway, Y, i guess life is short, sometimes u have to spend to feel alive.

1. For lunch, no drinks, drink plain water in office after lunch
=> saves money and calories

2. Turn on fan instead of air-con.

3. Even if need air-con, set timer so that it turns off 3-4 hours after you go to bed.

4. Take bus or MRT, no taxis.

5. Buy items from supermarket only when there is discount.

6. Wear SAF issued shorts, singlet, or vest at home.

7. Go out wear SAF sandles and shoes.

8. Use SAF issued towel for bathing.

9. Eat at home or at parent's/in-laws' place whenever possible.

From another forumer

1) chiong less hardware if you are a hardware or benchmark addict.

2) Stick with your gf ( if you have 1 ) and dotn go chiong around.

3) Buy clothes once a year unless the clothes broke

4) Eat at home or strictly hawker center/coffee shops. Food court if really no choice. Restaurants, cafes, drinking places, eateries is the fastest way to empty your wallet

5) As above even with gf. If you are chasing her also no need everytime go restaurant.

6) Dont go chiong at whatever happening place. Those cost a bomb for a few hours of your time

7) Stay away from alcohol (they cost a bomb)

8) Dont smoke if you can (they cost a bomb too)

9) Find a timesink that you can devote your free time too (EDMW, Online games, reading, Drama, Movies, Sports, Hobby, Religion etc)

10) Dont gamble (this cost a very big bomb)

From another forumer:

Food
--------------------------------------------------------------------
1)Skip breakfast.
2)Lunch money cap at $2.50
3)Drink plain water for lunch.
4)Dinner eat cheapo stuff. Cap at $5.00 to $6.00.
5)Drink plain water for dinner.
6) Tao pao is the best to reduce temptation to take sweet drinks. Downside is collick might think you anti-social.


Debts and liabilities.
--------------------------------
9) Don't get a car until you are ready. As in 0 debts and all loans like study loans whatsoever is cleared.

10) Yes a sweet looking car can net you chicks, but if your wallet empty, you can go squeeze your balls, not their neh neh.

11) Get an affordable car. Maintaining a high maintainence car is like maintaining a GCP with only 2.5K a month salary. Powerful cars eat more petrol, just FYI.

12) Strictly no credit cards. Use either a debit card or NETS.

13) Read 12 again. Multiple credit cards WILL kill you.

14) If you decide to get one, DO NOT GET A SUPPLEMENTARY CARD FOR YOUR GF/WIFE. Unless you can handle it.

Real life sexample, my friend, a guy is high flyer. 1 month take home easily 8k to 9k but he is struggling because his gf / GCP swipes his supplementary card like free and his life style is high flying kind. On average he will only have 2k left to spend on himself after everything is done. And he has not even factored in insurance and savings yet.

15) Don't bite too big of the pie if you cannot handle it. Yes installments / contracts look good but once you get too many.... It is like slowly drowning yourself.

Tuesday, March 16, 2010

Frustating waiting

The HR say they will email me to confirm the venue. They have change the date to another date. Yet, i have not received the email.

I cant wait to leave this place...seriously. I cant say the other place will be better off, but i know i have enough of this place already.

Please interview me fast...it chokes just to be in this office.

Sunday, March 7, 2010

Email to reject higher paying job

Haha..i didnt even have the offer, but decided to send a email to reject my application to be further consider for this role.

I am crazy to reject a higher paying job, but a job which i see no prospect in the long run, except to have access to internal mobility to other department.

I feel like taking a break.

Tired

Went for the ops interview...sad to say, im not interested in the job scope...seems like there is no valued added to my existing job skill, see no career progression...sucks man

Now i have to wait for the dealing position to call...which has a slim chance...

Been preparing, running ard, attend interviews...seems to be futile.

Hazi

Wednesday, March 3, 2010

A ring

The HR has revert to me regarding the ops job, something to do with reconciliation, processing...sounds boring now to me...after attending the dealing interview.

A consolation was that at least they have call, and will arrange another interview session with this particular operation manager. I have to wait for the email on the specific details.

I wasn't that delighted, i was pinning on the dealing one to call.

If the operations manager was to offer me, if the pay is attractive enough, what do i say...can i wait for the dealing one to revert to me?

A dilemma i foresee. How should i phrase my words?

Tuesday, March 2, 2010

Deal or no Deal

Went for the dealing position last nite. I was not in the best shape. Didnt perform well and make mistakes which may cause me my job application.

The payout is gd, straight and direct.

I wish i can get it. He say i will have to wait for HR to call me.

PLZ DO!!!

Wednesday, February 24, 2010

Do u deserve it?

Finally given the opportunity to be interviewed by one of my favorite company which i want to work in.

1st interviewer seems impressed, the 2nd one say my interview was good. I was in cloud 9. I have to say i did a couple of mistakes, perhaps not being able to structure the answers in a much proper manner which i would like, 2nd, i was stupid not to check carefully my "thank you" email to the hr personnel, i included a additional verb, which make it sounds singlish and unprofessional...so much for emphasizing on i being meticulous.

Now its the waiting game, its just been less than 24 hrs, and im being to doubt my capabilities to win the interviewers over against the other more potential, experienced, well spoken candidates who have a stronger passion to deserve this job.

Its kinda funny that sometimes people dont tink good things happen to them, until it came true. Is this call being practical or being pessimistic?

I tink i could do better in giving better well thought structured replies and im mentally prepared that it is a continuously 2 interviews straight without break in between. The strain and tiredness of having to impress the 1st interviewer, the tiredness has been brought on to the 2nd...signs of having difficulty to understand or hear the questions has been shown.

Guess it boils down to 1 question, do i impress enough to win the interviewers that i deserve this position more than others?

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About Me

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A typical underdog among the 6.6 billion homo sapiens who seeks to spend its remaining time to bring happiness to his loved ones. Constantly questioning how much and when is enough to attain a balance of success n happiness and to define one's purpose of existance instead conforming to unspoken society's pressures n norms.